


A natural disaster

by queergirlElle



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queergirlElle/pseuds/queergirlElle
Summary: The Luthors are a powerful family known for their xenophobic worldviews. Now that Lena Luthor attends the same College as the Danvers sisters, Alex will protect her alien sister with her life. Along the way she realises that Lena isn't like her family at all.ORAlex and Lena are College roommates. Enemies to Friends to Lovers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I'm back with a new story! It was supposed to be short but somehow got a little out of hand...  
> I'm sorry if some of the things aren't accurate, but I don't know much about American Colleges. I did a lot of googling, though.  
> Let's see how many clishés I can fit in this story.  
> Enjoy!

It was Kara’s first year at college and she was extremely excited. She’d annoyed Alex all summer long with how great it would be to finally spend more time together again.  
They had packed up their things and Eliza had caught Kara as she tried to fill a whole suitcase with food only. 

(Eliza had promised to send enough money so that they could silence Kara’s stomach, but Kara was still scared of starving.) 

It took a lot of time and discussions before Alex and Kara were finally on their way.

 

 

Alex guided Kara to Ms. Miller’s office, while her sister talked a mile a minute about how excited she was. Alex just laughed, pushed her sister inside the room and waited outside. She was happy that she’d get to see Kara more from now on, because over the last years they finally started to like each other. And being away for college, Alex had missed their movie nights a lot.

About ten minutes later Kara excited the office again.

“Did you get everything?”

“Yep, Room 203 and my roommate’s name is Lena Luthor.”

Alex immediately stopped walking, “Oh shit.”

“What? Is that number like bad luck on earth?”

“No, but don’t you know Lena Luthor?” Kara just looked at her with wide eyes, “Sister of Lex Luthor?” still no reaction from Kara, “the psychopath, who blew up the National City mall, because there was a pro-alien event going on?”

Now Kara’s eyes widened in shock.

“I can’t live with her Alex! What if she figures out I’m not human?”

“That’s what I was trying to say! Don’t worry we’ll just go and ask for another room.”

 

“What do you mean there is no other room?”

“As I already said all rooms were assigned and you can’t change that. Unless you want to switch rooms with someone I can’t help you,” the secretary said with an annoyed voice.

Alex looked over to her sister and could already see the tears welling up in her eyes. Great, they weren’t even here for a day and Kara was already crying.

“Ok, I’ll switch with you,” she silenced her sister when she was about to object, “Don’t worry about me, I know how to defend myself. I’ll be okay.”

After they talked through everything with the secretary Alex walked Kara back to her old room. There she explained the situation to her roommate Lucy, who promised to look after Kara. Alex packed a few of her old things and made her way over to her new home. Of course not before Kara had hugged her tight and almost cried again.

 

 

When Alex opened the door, she was met with a pale girl standing in the middle of the room. She looked smaller than Alex had anticipated.

“Hello, are you Kara Danvers?” Lena asked politely.

“Alex,” she answered and was met with a questioning look, “I’m Alex Danvers. Kara is my sister. There was a… mix up.”

“Oh okay, I’m Lena,” she said with a friendly smile.

“I know.” Lena’s smile immediately died down when she heard Alex’s response. It took only one second before her hurt look turned into a poker face.

Alex took her surroundings in for a second. The room was smaller than her old one, but other than that it looked the same. Lena had already unpacked her things on the right side. Alex wordlessly took the left side. She didn’t want to start a discussion without a good reason.

“Do you need any help unpacking?” Lena asked.

Alex answered with a simple no. She didn’t know what to think of Lena. Was that nice attitude just a cover? Or was she going to snap once Alex did something that Lena didn’t like?

The Luthor family was famous for their xenophobic world views. Lex Luthor had killed hundreds of people, because the mall they were at had a pro-alien event going on. Lillian Luthor on the other hand was a business woman, but no one knew what she was doing exactly. A lot of aliens working for their family company disappeared and were probably used to experiment on. At least that was what most of the magazines said. Alex didn’t know much about Lena. The youngest Luthor would usually stand in the background at press conferences and other events. After Lex’s imprisonment she was supposed to take over the family company once she was old enough, but more than that wasn’t public about her.

 

Alex could feel Lena’s eyes staring at her back. She turned around to face her. The brunette was sitting on her bed looking at Alex and fumbling with her hands. She somehow looked small and vulnerable and Alex couldn’t help but think that maybe this was an act. When Lena realised Alex was looking at her she blushed.

“So you said you have a sister. Is she here, too?” Lena asked.

Alex sighed and answered with a short “Yep”.

“And where are you from?”

Alex rolled her eyes. Did she really have to make small talk with Lena? She decided to simply ignore it and didn’t answer.

After Alex had unpacked her suitcase she went out to find Kara and Lucy, without even looking back at Lena.  
They all met up at the closest pizza place. When Kara saw her sister enter, she immediately got up to hug her.

“I’m really sorry about this, Alex. Did you meet her? Is she nice to you?” Kara asked concerned.

“I don’t know we barely talked. But I’ll be okay. Please don’t worry about me.”

“Hey Danvers,” James yelled as he entered, “I heard you’re living with Luthor now. What happened? Did you lose a bet?” This earned him some laughter.

“You can come over and crash in our room at any time,” Lucy offered.

“And if she gives you any trouble just tell me, I’ll deal with it,” James offered.

Alex promised her friends to make the best out of her situation and she was relieved when they finally moved on to a different topic. They were taking the situation a little too serious.

 

When she left the restaurant a few hours later, she had almost forgotten about her new roommate for a second. She walked into the dorm with some leftovers and saw Lena at her desk reading a biology book.

“Are you already studying?”

“You can never start early enough,” she responded without looking up.

Alex shrugged out of her jacket and decided to try to be nice for once.

“Uhm… my friends and I had some pizza. Do you want a piece?” she asked politely showing Lena the pizza.  
The brunette gave it a short glance and then looked back to her textbook.

“I don’t eat meat, because I don’t kill animals.”

Alex made a dismissive sound and shook her head. Why did she even try?

 

The two of them mostly kept to themselves and didn’t speak to each other. When Alex went to bed Lena was still at her desk studying with all lamps on.  
Alex sighed. This was going to be a long year.

 

 

Alex entered the dorm with her thoughts still on her last lecture. She looked up to see Lena standing near her bed, only wearing her underwear. Alex instantly stumbled and dropped her bag. Lena quickly pulled a shirt over her head when she heard her roommate. Alex rushed to put her bag up, blushed and mumbled some words that Lena didn’t quite get. Lena raised her eyebrow at that, but didn’t comment on it.

She thought that her roommate was acting a little weird, but on the other hand everybody was always acting a little weird around her.

Lena went to bed that night thinking about if it was possible to survive College without talking with her roommate. Or without making a single friend. Not that she had much experience with having friends anyway, but after all these years she was starting to get lonely. She’d only been here for one day, but apart from the professors no one had talked to her. Maybe she would be alone her whole life?  
The thought got stuck in her head and she tossed and turned all night, because she couldn’t get rid of it.

 

Of course the next morning she ignored her alarm and slept right through it. Her roommate didn’t bother trying to wake her up so when she finally opened her eyes she was already incredibly late. And Lena was never late. Not once in her life she had been late anywhere to anything. And that on her second day! What would her mother say? 

After getting almost no sleep last night it was no wonder that she’d problems getting out of bed in the morning. And now she was walking around in circles trying to find Mrs. Porter’s class. She decided to ask someone for help, even though interacting with other students was the last thing she wanted.

“Hi, excuse me, can you tell me where lecture hall eight is?” she asked a tall blonde guy, who looked at her with a wicked grin.

“Sure, just go down the hall. It’s at the very end,” he said and pointed in one direction.  
Lena quickly thanked him and hurried away. She didn’t even take two steps when she heard someone yelling her name behind her. She acted as if she hadn’t heard it and continued walking.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” the person shouted and Lena furiously turned around to see Alex running after her.

“What do you want? I’m already late!”

“I know. That’s why I came after you; to tell you that lecture hall eight is the other way.”

Lena looked at her doubtfully and debated with herself for a second and then decided to believe Alex. At this point she’d nothing to lose.

“Fine, where is it?”

“I’ll walk you there.”

They hurried back where they came from. When they passed the blonde guy and his friend again, Lena could hear him laugh at her. She turned bright red and tried not to let it get to her.

There was a reason she hated interacting with people. And she just got proved right all over again.

 

For the first week both of them rarely interacted with each other. Lena spent a lot of time at the library, while Alex spent a lot of time going out with her friends. 

It was Thursday night around 3am when Lena woke up from a weird noise. She turned the light on and looked around, but couldn’t see anything. Then she heard it again. Someone was scratching at the door! She got up and padded to it, a heavy book in her hand as defence. She slowly opened the door to see Alex standing in the hallway with her key pointed at Lena.

“Thanks for opening the door. I couldn’t find the lock. I think someone stole it.”

Yep, she was definitely drunk. Lena lowered the book and opened the door wider to let Alex in. The redhead stumbled to her bed and immediately fell asleep with her shoes and jacket still on. Lena sighed again, turned the lights off and went back to bed. Hopefully this was a one-time thing.

 

Of course it didn’t remain a one-time thing. At least twice a week Lena was woken up by Alex in the middle of the night, because she was drunk and stumbled around. In most of the cases Alex would come in, turn the lights on and go to bed. So every time Lena had to get up to turn the lights off again. Sometimes she could hear Alex throwing up in the bathroom, but she didn’t want to interrupt so she just pretended to be asleep. The brunette had no idea how to survive her morning classes when her stupid roommate woke her up almost every night.

 

One morning Alex woke up because she got hit in the face with a pillow. She looked around a little confused.

“What?” she grumbled when she saw Lena standing in front of her, hands on her hips.

“Did you eat my yoghurt?” she asked.

“Uhm… I was hungry last night and ate the one that was there.”

“I wrote my name on it!”

“Do you think I read when I’m drunk and hungry?”

Lena just groaned, “Now I don’t have anything for breakfast and no time to buy something!”

She took her bag from the chair and angrily stormed off. Alex just rolled her eyes and turned around to get some more sleep. It didn’t matter to her.  
Only a tiny voice at the back of her head told her that she was being a bitch, while Lena acted mostly like a normal college student.  
She turned around again, now angry at her feeling of guilt. 

 

 

That afternoon Lena came home with tears in her eyes and mud all over her clothes. She threw her books on the table and disappeared into the bathroom.  
Alex had an idea what could have happened. It was no secret that Lena was famous around campus, but not in a good way. Everybody knew the Luthor family. Most people tried to keep their distance from her, but a few kept throwing mean comments at her. Alex knew that Lena had no friends, or at least she’d never seen her talk to anyone. And while Alex really tried to hate Lena and her family she mostly felt sorry for the poor girl.

She got up from her bed and looked at the book on Lena’s desk. AP science, Alex hadn’t even realized they were in the same course.  
The book was completely covered in mud and probably useless. Alex sighed, maybe she should take a step into the right direction and be a little nicer? She pulled her own copy out of her backpack to place it on Lena’s desk. Then she sat back down on her bed and put on some music so she wouldn’t her Lena’s sobs coming from the bathroom.

A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and Lena stepped out. Her eyes looked red and puffy, but she seemed to be better now. She startled when she saw the book on her desk. 

“I didn’t know that you take AP science.”

“What? You think just because I like to party I’m dumb?” Alex threw back without looking up.

“Well, yes.”

This actually raised a tiny smile on Alex’s face. 

“You can use my copy. I just need it back tomorrow morning.” 

Lena smiled back and thanked her before she started her assignment. 

 

Only a few hours after that, Alex left their room to meet up with her friends at the park. She threw a tiny smile into Lena’s direction before she closed the door and Lena was too baffled to do anything with her dumb face.  
She turned back to her work and shook her head slightly. Was this actually happening? Maybe they would start to like each other. The brunette smiled to herself and continued working.

 

 

When Alex arrived at the park, she could already hear her friends discussing loudly. She felt sorry for the other people at the park for a moment, before she joined the group.

“Are you guys playing ’Who has the most annoying roommate?’ again?” she asked while grabbing a beer.

“I’m definitely winning,” Winn perked up. “My roommate runs around naked all the time and it’s really not pretty.” He scrunched up his face while talking and the group broke out in laughter.

“But at least he doesn’t get up at six in the morning to exercise,” Nia said. “I mean who does that?”

“Alex, you have good chances at winning. How is Luthor doing?” James asked.

Alex took a sip from her beer and thought for a second. “I don’t know. Actually she isn’t that bad. She isn’t there often or when she is, she’s usually silent.”  
She looked up to see the frowning faces of her friends. No one said anything so she quickly added “but we do fight a lot about stupid things. That is really annoying.”

A few of them nodded, but still nobody said anything. Alex was glad that Lucy stepped in.

“My roommate eats all of my food. Doesn’t matter how good I hide it,” she said, looking accusingly at Kara. The blonde blushed as the whole group erupted in laughter again. 

Alex tried following the conversation further, but all she could think of was that Lena actually wasn’t a bad roommate. But Lex Luthor had been the same. A nice and normal person until he freaked out one day. Maybe Alex should prepare for Lena’s possible freak-out.

 

A little while later Lena was alone in their room, Alex still wasn’t back. She was lying on her bed, feet on the wall to get some blood back into her brain. She was debating with herself whether she could afford taking a study break or not. The slight headache had forced her to stop for a few minutes.  
She looked over at Alex’s side of the room. It looked like complete chaos over there. Her clothes were all over the floor, paper and books all over the bed. Lena wasn’t sure if cleaning her roommate’s side was acceptable, but cleaning had always helped her clear her head. Sadly her side was already neat and clean.  
She got up and decided to tidy up a bit. She took Alex’s notes from the bed and put them on the table, collected her clothes from the floor and threw away some wrappers and a banana.  
These few little changes already made the room look much better. Lena smiled to herself and continued studying.

A few hours later when Alex came home, Lena had already forgotten about the cleaning.

“Did you touch my stuff?” Alex asked the second she entered the room. 

“I just wanted to clean a bit, it helps me concentrate,” Lena explained nervously.

“I can’t find anything!” Alex exclaimed as she was looking through the things on her table, “I had an important phone number written down.”

Lena started to blush, of course it had been a bad idea to touch Alex’s stuff!

“All the paper is on the desk.”

“It wasn’t on paper, I wrote in on a candy wrapper.”

“Who writes notes on a candy wrapper?” Lena laughed, but immediately shut her mouth when she saw Alex’s look.

“Of course Miss Rich Bitch would never write something on candy or even worse: eat some!” Alex laughed. Not a bad roommate my ass, she thought and angrily grumbled to herself.

Lena opened and closed her mouth a few times, but then decided to just keep quiet. Avoid problems and fights at all costs, that’s what she’d told herself all her life.  
She went to the trash bin behind the door and got out every candy wrapper she could find. She handed Alex the one with the number on it and put the rest back in.

Alex gave her an annoyed “Thank you” and then sighed, “Sorry for calling you a-“ but Lena had already thrown the bathroom door shut. Alex sighed again and turned around to sort her stuff while Lena washed her hands for full ten minutes.

She knew it was probably her fault. She had destroyed the ‘process’ they had made and now Lena was angry at herself.

 

The next day they were almost back to smiling at each other, but only almost. It seemed like they had both decided on their own that acting as if nothing had happened was the best option.  
That evening Alex left their room again to go out to a party with her friends. Lena didn’t know if she should be happy that she could study in silence, or jealous because no one ever invited her to anything.  
She decided to be happy about it and do something useful just to realize that she had no work to do. She had done all of her assignments, was ahead with all of her readings and even her room was cleaned. 

She sighed and laid down on her bed to read a book. 

In that moment she was jealous.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!  
> There is a lot happening this chapter so be prepared.  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I really appreciate it.

The first few days and weeks went by quicker than Lena would’ve thought. She and Alex still barely talked, and the atmosphere between the two of them was almost professional. But after some guys had made snarky comments about her in the library and yelled slurs, the brunette decided that she couldn’t go there anymore. Now that she was spending more time in their dorm, there were more annoying things about Alex. Apart from the mess on her side of the room and that she was way to loud when she came home late at night, Alex couldn’t study without music. Lena tried to blend it out, but one night she was just done with it. It was already past midnight, Alex was sitting at her desk, listening to music and humming along, 

Lena groaned loudly. “Can you please turn off the music. I really need to sleep.”

“I need some background sounds to concentrate.”

“And I need to sleep. Guess which one is more important to me.”

Alex rolled her eyes and turned down the sound a little. Lena knew that this was the best she could get so she angrily pulled the blanket over her head and tried to blend it out.  
With the muffled sound of Alex’s humming, she fell asleep eventually.

 

 

Alex and her friends were sitting in the cafeteria and talking loudly about starting the new semester. Winn had asked them if someone wanted to join the physics club and somehow this got into a whole discussion. Apparently, Kara wanted to join as many clubs as possible to meet new people and make even more friends.  
Alex kept stuffing pie into her mouth. She could imagine a lot of better things than joining a club and spending time with people she didn’t want to spend time with.

“Alex and I are going to join the boxing class,” Lucy announced happily.

“I never agreed to that,” Alex mumbled with pie in her mouth.

“Just once, please! If you don’t like it you don’t have to go back there.”  
When Alex didn’t respond Lucy tried a different tactic. “Kara give her the puppy eyes.”

Alex groaned and looked away, but somehow, she found herself in boxing class two days later with a beaming Lucy.

“You’re right. This is fun!” Alex said as she sat on top of Lucy and pressed her face into the mat. They were both sweating and spent more time rolling on the mat than with actual boxing. It still was a good outlet for all of Alex’s emotions. It felt good to be out of breath and to have her muscles aching.

“So, what do you say,” Lucy asked once they were in the changing room, “You want to come back next week?”

“Fine, but only cause I get to beat your ass.”

“It’s always helpful if you know how to fight.”

Lucy threw her a weird side glance which Alex wasn’t sure how to interpret. Until her brain caught on.  
“Oh, so the whole point of this was that I can protect myself against Lena?”

“I didn’t say that-”

“First of all, she is really small so I could totally take her out and second, why would she ever attack me? I’m not an alien and as long as I stay away from her yoghurt she seems to be just fine.”

Lucy looked as if she had no idea what Alex was talking about. She needed a second to realise that her friend was on the way out.

“Alex wait! I care about you, ok? I just thought this could be helpful for whatever reason.” Alex sighed but stopped.  
“And I don’t know about you, but I had a lot of fun.”

It took a while but Alex finally let out a soft sigh.  
“Yeah me too.”

The redhead smiled back at Lucy and they both made their way outside. Maybe this would actually be helpful one day. After all Lucy was right, even though Lena looked like she wouldn’t hurt a fly, the Luthor’s were unpredictable.

 

Unpredictable indeed, because when Lena came home that evening she threw a small package at Alex. The redhead looked up from her book with a confused look. Her eyes flicked in between the package and Lena, who was still standing next to her bed, expectantly looking at her.  
Alex slowly grabbed the package and opened it. She looked inside and had to laugh out loud.

“You got me headphones?”

Now Lena had to smile a little as well, “For the sake of my sleep and my study time.”

Alex put them aside to continue reading, but the smile wouldn’t leave her face.

 

 

It was one of those nights, Lena woke up because she heard the door being slammed shut. She could hear Alex stumbling into the room, making weird sounds. At this point Lena was more than annoyed. Why couldn’t she live with a normal, quiet roommate?  
It took the brunette a second before she realised that Alex was crying. She had an inner discussion with herself before she decided to get up and help her. She turned the lights on to see Alex lying on the floor, hands covering her face. Lena didn’t know what to do so she simply got her a glass of water and helped her sit up against the wall. Somehow her anger had vanished.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked softly.

“Why do I keep doing this to myself? It’s disgusting… I’m disgusting.” Alex mumbled and started sobbing even harder.

Lena had no idea what to do. She didn’t have much experience with comforting other people so she just sat on the floor next to Alex and awkwardly pat her knee.  
Alex kept mumbling things and slowly stopped crying. After a few minutes she was asleep.  
Lena slowly got up from the floor. She was more than tired, but thought that she couldn’t leave her roommate there. She considered her options for a second and then simply took Alex’s blanket from her bed to put it over her sleeping figure. Satisfied with her work, Lena finally went back to bed.

 

The next morning Alex woke up with probably the worst hangover of her life. Her whole body hurt and she didn’t know where she was. She took in her surroundings and realized that she’d slept on the floor. Slowly she got up and emptied her stomach into the toilet before she dragged herself to bed. On the bedside table she found a glass of water and a headache pill. She groaned and chugged it all down before she went to bed. One look at her phone told her that her morning classes were almost over so there was no sense in going there anyway.

 

When she woke up again, Lena was back in the room sitting at her desk. She threw a small smile at Alex, who groaned loudly. The redhead decided to take a shower to clear her head before she tried to review anything from the past night. She couldn’t remember much. Only that she was at a frat party with Lucy and some of her friends and that she’d talked to Lena before she fell asleep.  
On the floor apparently.

She stepped out of the shower and finally felt human again. She put on some sweat pants and a shirt with the intention of going back to bed soon.

“Uhm… thanks for helping me last night. I know you didn’t have to. Not after I acted like a bitch,” Alex said.

“It’s okay.” Lena gave her a simple smile and turned around to her books again. 

While Alex made some coffee, Lena struggled with how to phrase her next sentence, “Also I think you should know that being gay isn’t something bad. I bet your parents will understand.”

Alex spun around and almost knocked her coffee mug down.  
“Shit, what the hell did I tell you?”

“You don’t remember?”

Alex slowly shook her head.

“Well you came in here calling yourself disgusting, because you slept with that guy and-“  
Alex didn’t listen anymore because her memories crushed back in. How she let that guy lead her to his dorm and let him do his thing while she waited for it to be over. When he was done she collected her stuff and went away as fast as she could. She tried to drown the disgusting feeling in alcohol. She tried to keep drinking until she would forget what his hands felt like on her skin.  
And then she remembered how she stumbled down on the floor of her own dorm.

_“I don’t want to be with him. It was horrible and I don’t know what to do.”_

_“But he didn’t force himself on you, did he?”_

_“No, no I wanted it. I think. I don’t know why. I don’t even like him.”_

_“It’s okay, really. You don’t have to be with him if you don’t want to.”_

_“It’s not just him, I don’t want to be with any guy, Lena. I tried, I really tried.”_

_“That’s okay, you know?”_

_“No, it’s not okay! I can’t be… that! My parents would never understand. Kara would think I’m weird and I couldn’t handle that. Please, just make it go away…”_

_“You know I can’t.”_

_“Please, Lena. I want to be normal.”_

Lena waved her hand in front of Alex’s face to get her attention.

“Sorry, I just… I just remembered our talk from last night,” she said and blushed, “I uhm… thank you for being nice to me and uhm…”

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’d better not or I swear I’ll kill you!” she snapped, “wait sorry, I didn’t mean… Thank you.”  
Alex blushed and got to her desk to get some work done.

“Just so you know,” Lena smiled, “I’m sticking with what I said: It’s normal. You’re normal. And you don’t have to be afraid.

 

After that day Alex had multiple inner discussions with herself. She realised that she felt good, great even now that she’d told someone. Even if that someone was Lena.

During lunch Lucy asked her multiple times if she was okay, because she wasn’t joining the discussion. Alex stuttered and tried to come up with an explanation.  
She couldn’t tell any of her friends just now. What if this was just a phase? What if she just didn’t like sex or simply had it with the wrong guys?  
She tossed and turned a lot that night, sleep didn’t come easy, but eventually she drifted of, dreaming of pretty girls.

 

 

The next time Lena walked into her AP Science class, she searched the room for Alex. She knew her roommate had to be somewhere here. This was the only class that they shared. She found her sitting in the middle of the room next to a small guy.  
Alex had seen her as well, because she threw Lena a small smile. The brunette immediately walked over and placed her bag on the table next to Alex.

“Sorry, this seat is already taken,” someone said and Lena looked around to see a tall, blonde girl with an annoyed look on her face, standing next to her. Lena quickly apologized and went to find another seat.  
When she turned around at some point during class, she could see that the seat between Alex and the blonde girl remained empty.

 

Alex watched Lena from a distance. After class she decided to get up to talk to her and ask her to have lunch with her and her friends. She got up and saw Lena walking into her direction, when suddenly a guy tapped on Alex’s shoulder and started talking to her.

“Hey, you’re Alex right?” the guy asked with a mischievous grin.

Alex responded with a simple nod and continued to pack her stuff into her bag.

“I’m Mike. I guess you’ve already heard of me. I’m quite popular around campus.” 

Alex chuckled a bit and tried not to throw up. 

“I think you should go out with me.”

“Was that a question or a statement? Wait, never mind. I’m not interested,” she laughed and got away. 

She looked around and hoped to spot Lena, but the brunette had already left. Alex cursed under her breath. She’d actually planned to thank Lena again for being such a good listener, but it seemed like this had to wait.

 

 

It was late at night, Alex was out with her friends. They hadn’t had time to really talk yet, but Alex said she wanted to try to stay sober. Lena wasn’t sure if Alex would manage to do that.  
There was a knock on the door and Lena decided to ignore it. It couldn’t be her roommate, because it was too early for that. Someone knocked again and Lena sighed and got up to open the door. There was a tall, probably good looking guy, tapping on his phone.

“Hey, is Alex here?” he said without really looking at Lena.

“No she’s not.”

“Wow,” he said once he’d looked up, “Forget about the redhead, you’re hot, girl!”

Lena raised her eyebrow in confusion and threw the door into his face without further question.  
It was almost a weekly thing that some guy would show up and ask for Alex. Luckily, Alex almost always said no to them. Lena had no idea why she felt so relieved about that.

 

Lena heard a door shut and some footsteps. Her head hurt and it took her a second to realise that she’d fallen asleep on her desk. Just as she wanted to get up and go to bed, she felt someone standing close to her. She could smell the alcohol on Alex. The redhead moved closer to Lena’s face.

“Hey Lena?” she whispered, “you need to go to bed or you gonna have a crock in your neck tomorrow and that is bad.”

Well, that was definitely new. Drunk Alex actually caring about her?

“Lenaaaa,” she whined as she poked Lena’s shoulder. The brunette decided to open her eyes and got up.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Alex cheered.

“And you’re drunk.”

“I’m not! I only had two drinks. It’s impossible to stay sober with Lucy around,” she pouted.

Lena smiled, “at least you can still walk straight this time. Let’s get you into bed.”

“There is nothing straight about you getting me into bed,” Alex laughed loudly at her own joke.

The brunette blushed and led Alex to her bed and then got into her own.

“Hey Lena?”

“Hm?”

“Why did Daniel DeMarco send me fourteen texts, asking for a threesome with me and you?”

 

 

It was almost noon when Alex finally decided to get up. She usually slept in on Sundays, but actually she had a lot of work to do today and she didn’t even know where to start.  
When she finally pushed the blanket aside and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she could see that Lena was also still in bed. Or at least a heap of blankets which presumably could be Lena. It seemed weird to Alex, because her roommate never slept that long, not even on the weekends.

The redhead slowly got dressed and went out to get some coffee after discovering that nothing was left in their dorm. She went out to the closest coffee shop and then to the library to get the book she needed. When she came back to their room almost an hour later, Lena was still in bed. Alex set her bag down and went over to Lena’s bed. She slowly lifted the blanket and was met with a pair of sad eyes staring at her.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked softly. Only now she could see the wet spot under Lena’s face. As if she’d been crying again. Lena didn’t answer, she simply closed her eyes and went back to sleep.  
Alex was unsure of what to do, so she decided to stay in their room in case Lena needed her.

When Lena woke up, the blanket was lifted from her face once again. She could see her roommate smiling at her. Outside the sun was already setting.

“Hey, I made you some soup. I don’t really know if you’re sick, but maybe this will help. Also you need to eat something,” Alex said and sat the bowl down on Lena’s nightstand.

The brunette slowly sat up and eyed the soup weirdly. Then she looked at Alex with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, okay, I didn’t make it, I just warmed it up. But it’s probably better that way.”

A hint of a smile flashed across Lena’s face before she slowly began to eat the soup.

Alex smiled to herself. Hopefully this would help make Lena feel better. She knew why her roommate had been so down all day. Everyone whispered it in the halls and it was the first article that had popped up on her newsfeed earlier that day.

 

_5th Anniversary of Lex Luthor killing 91 People in a Shopping Center_

 

Alex had been worried about her roommate all day, but she couldn’t really express it. They weren’t even friends. Okay, so maybe Lena was taking care of her when she was drunk and she was the only one who knew Alex’s secret, but that didn’t change anything! They hadn’t even talked about that night again, just like they wouldn’t talk about today.

 

 

One of the things that Alex was definitely excited about was that she and Kara could finally have regular movie nights again. Alex may not admit it, but she’d missed her little sister this past year. So this evening they’d ordered Chinese take out and were sitting together on the bed in Kara’s dorm. A movie was playing in the background, but neither of them really paid attention. It was the first time that they could talk, just the two of them, since they’d arrived.

“Is college still as fun as you imagined?” Alex asked and set the empty container aside.

“It’s okay, but I met a lot of nice people,” Kara smiled and stuffed a few more potstickers into her mouth.

“And I met a guy,” she said after she’d swallowed.

“Oh, do tell!” Alex smirked. A slight blush crept on Kara’s cheeks.

“His name is Mike. He’s a few years older and he asked me out the other day.”

“Tall, blonde and way too white teeth?”

Kara nodded with a smile.

“Oh, I know him, he is a complete ass. Please don’t go out with him, Kara! Not that I think you shouldn’t date, but not him, okay?”

“But he was so nice to me and I already said yes.”

“You can still say no. Trust me he asks out everyone who doesn’t run away fast enough.”

“But I want to go. I’m old enough to decide who I’m going out with.”

Kara pouted for a second and then turned her attention back to the movie. Alex just sighed. All she wanted was to keep Kara save. Why wouldn’t her sister understand that?

 

It was a few days later, Alex just got home and fell into bed, when her phone rang. She groaned and got back up to get it.

“Hey Kara, what’s up?”

She could see the angry look Lena was throwing her. It looked like her _Be quiet, I’m studying!_ Face.  
But Alex couldn’t care less, because Kara was crying on the phone.

“Slow down, where are you right now?” Lena observed how Alex’s forehead crinkled in confusion.

“Ok wait there I’ll come get you.” She took her keys and stormed out of the door.

Apparently, after their date Mike had asked Kara up to his room and when she declined, he threw her out of the car and drove away.

“But he was so nice,” Kara sobbed into her sister’s shoulder once they were in Alex’s car.

“They are all nice in the beginning,” Alex said which made Kara only sob harder. She sighed and hugged Kara close as the blonde kept on crying.

 

When Alex came back home late at night, Lena was sitting on her bed, reading a book.

“Is everything okay with your sister?”

“Yeah, she just had a bad date with a guy. And I told her that he wasn’t good for her, but she didn’t listen and now she is sad so I didn’t even get to say ‘I told you so’.”

Alex sighed and angrily threw her jacket on the bed.

“She thinks that everybody is just as nice as she is on the inside and she just doesn’t understand that there are bad people out there. I just want to protect her. And college boys are really the worst.”

Alex sat down and sighed again. Then she looked up to meet Lena’s eyes.

“Sorry for rambling, you probably don’t care.”

Lena smiled a little, “It is nice to see that you care about your sister so much. She’ll appreciate it eventually.”

The redhead shook her head. Maybe Lena was right, but since when was she listening to Lena? They were roommates but that didn’t mean they were friends. 

Alex went to bed even more confused than before, while Lena went to bed with a smile on her face. So Alex did have a softer side, when it came to her sister. Knowing that made her smile and she’d almost drifted off into sound sleep when she ripped her eyes open again. 

She’d suddenly remembered that her mother expected her to bring a boy home for the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think.  
> I will upload new chapters probably every sunday.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you beautiful people!   
> I'm in a good mood, so please enjoy todays chapter :)

If Alex could change one thing about herself it would be the fact that she never did anything on time. She hadn’t slept all night, because of a stupid assignment that she put off until last minute. She’d only gotten very few hours of sleep after finishing it early in the morning. 

Now she awkwardly stumbled around in their room trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Also falling asleep would be easier for her, if she stopped having these concerning midnight thoughts about other girls.   
Alex tried to shake this thought and walked directly into Lena’s desk. She winced in pain before she bent down to pick up the book which had fallen down. It was a small black notebook and out of curiosity Alex opened it and read a few words. It didn’t take her long to realise that this was Lena’s diary. And it absolutely didn’t sound happy. Even though she was curious to know if Lena had written anything about her, she still decided to put it back.

“What are you doing?” someone yelled behind her.   
She turned around to see her roommate staring at her with wide eyes. Alex didn’t even have a chance to explain before Lena snatched the notebook out of Alex’s hand, put it in the bottom drawer of her desk and locked it.

“As… As soon as I realised what it was, I stopped reading,” Alex tried to explain.

Lena scoffed at that. As if Alex had anything good in mind. She had bad experiences with ‘friends’ from Highschool who just wanted to exchange secrets and then suddenly the whole school knew that she couldn’t sleep at night without having her teddy.   
Why would they care that it was the last thing she had from her birth mother?

Lena ignored Alex’s apologies and stormed out of the room to get some air.

This time Lena was the one lying awake at night. She couldn’t stop thinking about Alex reading her diary. Did she read the part about herself? What if she took pictures to show them to her friends or did she rip out a page and Lena hadn’t noticed? She instantly got up and unlocked the bottom drawer to check if the notebook still had all of its pages.

“Lena turn the light off,” Alex grumbled from under the blanket. When Lena didn’t respond Alex groaned and pushed the blanket away to see what her roommate was doing.

“Did you read it? Did you take pictures? I just want to know what people are going to laugh about.”  
Alex couldn’t quite figure this girl out. She was sitting on the floor in her pyjamas and she looked… defeated?

“I knocked against the desk, the book fell down, I picked it up, opened it to see what it was, read the paragraph about you almost making a friend at the library and then I wanted to put it back right when you came in.”

Lena cringed at that thought. The girl she met at the library the other day had been looking for a book but forgot to bring her glasses so Lena helped her out. Next time she came back with her glasses on and when she spotted Lena she immediately hurried away.

When Lena came back to reality she saw that Alex was still looking at her so she quickly nodded and went back to bed. She wasn’t fully convinced but it was enough to finally let her fall asleep.

 

The next few days Lena was rather careful. She walked around campus trying to listen in on what people were talking about. Her plan was to find out if Alex had spread any information from her diary, but every time someone whispered about her it was just the usual crap about her family. But she didn’t want to be lulled into a false sense of security. Lena was full on prepared for people laughing about her so the silence was surprising.

Also surprising was that Alex was sitting at her desk, listening to music with headphones on. Lena grinned as she saw her roommate softly nodding her head to the music while staring at her laptop.  
When Alex spotted her, she gave her thumbs up and they both smiled at each other. 

 

 

It was Monday afternoon and Alex was more than tired. The week had just started and she already wasn’t sure how to survive it. She was dreaming about her bed, when she saw Lena standing in the hallway, crying. 

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked as she approached her.

A few guys walked past them laughing at Lena, but Alex shot them a glare and they immediately hurried away.

“Did someone hurt you?”

Lena just stared at her with wide eyes. Her fingers were trembling and she was breathing really fast.

“Lena? Look at me. Okay now take a deep breath.”

Alex took a deep breath and Lena mimicked her. The redhead’s hands were hovering over Lena’s shoulders, not quite touching her.

She took a few more breaths and her heart beat started to slow down.

“Thank you,” she whispered and wiped her tears away.

Alex gave her a soft smile, “What happened? Is it because of the other day? Because I promise I really didn’t tell anyone what I read and-”

“No, it’s not that,” she got out and took a deep breath and handed Alex a piece of paper. The redhead quickly skipped through it.

“So you failed this assignment, but that’s not too bad. You’ll make it on the second try.”

“You don’t know my mother. She’ll find out about this and then she’ll make me regret it,” Lena whispered. She wordlessly got up, hurried away and left a confused Alex.

 

 

It took Alex exactly three days to find out what Lena had actually meant. She just finished all her classes for today and went back to their dorm. She was in a good mood, because the weekend wasn’t far away and she had already done most of her homework.

“Hey Lena, I need to go to the mall. Do you want to join me?” she asked into the room as she shrugged out of her jacket.   
She looked up to see an unfamiliar face looking at her. A woman was standing next to a frightened Lena. The woman’s eyes were cold and unfriendly. Alex had seen her before, in the newspaper and on TV. But standing here in front of her, Lillian Luthor was even scarier than expected.   
Alex politely greeted her, but she didn’t get far, because the woman turned around to look at Lena. 

“That’s why I told you to get an apartment off the campus. There’s no privacy here and people keep you from doing your best. You see how that ends up.” She pointed at the assignment in Lena’s hand.

“It was just a mistake, mother. Next time I’ll pass.”

“You’d better! I don’t pay for your education so that you can spend your days at the mall with this _friend_ of yours.”

Alex couldn’t help, but let out a little scoff. “One failed assignment won’t ruin your future,” she muttered under her breath and instantly regretted it. Lillian had turned back to her and looked her up and down. Alex was completely frightened. 

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” Lillian spat out. 

“Lena is brilliant! Otherwise she wouldn’t be ahead in all of her classes.” Alex had no idea why she just said that. She gulped as Lillian’s cold eyes were starring right at her. A smile spread on the woman’s face, but it was a cold, almost scary one. She turned back to Lena, who hadn’t moved one inch the whole time they had been there.

“What did I tell you about suppressing that lesbianism? Keep it down or I’ll send you back to therapy.” 

She shot one last glare at Alex before she walked out of the door. Alex took a second to process what had just happened. She could see Lena standing there, still not moving a muscle apart from her shaking hands. She looked extremely frightened and tears glistened in her eyes. Alex slowly walked over to her.

“Lena? You need to breathe. Can you breathe with me?” She took deep breaths and after a while Lena started to follow her example.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie. Is it okay if I hug you?” she asked softly.   
Lena gave her a small nod and Alex pulled her in for a tight hug. It took a few seconds before Lena slowly relaxed into the touch. Alex could feel the silent sobs shaking Lena’s body. They managed to get to her bed and sat down. Alex caressed Lena’s back and it seemed like they sat there for hours before the brunette slowly stopped to cry.

The redhead stood up and got Lena a glass of water which the brunette quickly gulped down.

Then Lena slowly looked up. “Where did you learn how to cope with a panic attack?” she asked barely audible.

“My sister used to have them when we were younger. Do you get them often?”

Lena softly shook her head, “Not since I moved out from home.”

Alex nodded, “Okay, just tell me what you need right now.”

The redhead could see that Lena was clearly debating with herself for a while.

“Can you hold me?” she whispered and a blush appeared on her cheeks.

Alex smiled, scooted closer to Lena and put her arm around her back. Lena rested her head on Alex’s chest and closed her eyes.

 

When Alex felt that Lena’s heart beat was getting back to normal, she decided to break the silence.

“I didn’t know you’re gay, too,” she whispered.

“Well, I couldn’t just go around and tell everyone. You see what my mother is like,” Lena chuckled dryly.

“Just so you know, someone really smart once told me that being gay is completely normal and nothing bad.” 

Lena gave her a sad smile, “You shouldn’t trust her. She has no idea.”

Alex raised her eyebrows and after a second Lena whispered a small ‘Thank you’ before she passed out from exhaustion. Alex looked at her for a few moments. She couldn’t even imagine what Lena had been through. She sighed and put a blanket over the brunette then she sat on her own bed and leaned against the wall to watch Lena sleep.

It wasn’t even dark outside yet, but Alex just couldn’t do anything else. She didn’t want to leave Lena alone. She simply grabbed a book she had wanted to read for a while and sat back.   
Every now and then she looked up to check if Lena was still asleep. And just as many times she got lost in Lena. In looking at her soft hair and perfect face and… Alex had to shake herself out of these thoughts and had a hard time focusing her concentration back on her book.

 

After Alex had stayed up all night reading, she wasn’t happy that her alarm tried to wake her up in the morning. When Lena walked out of the bathroom she could see Alex still sound asleep.

“Uhm Alex?” Lena gently touched her shoulder, “You need to get up.” But Alex just murmured something and continued snoring. Lena wasn’t sure what to do. Just leave her here and have her miss the lecture? She tried roughly shaking Alex shoulder and within seconds Alex was awake and spun around. Her arm hit Lena right in the face.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” Alex said and got out of bed to help Lena up. She crouched down in front of the brunette, who held her nose in pain.

“I’m so sorry, Lena. Can I see?”

Lena slowly put her hands away from her nose. Some blood was dripping down her face. Alex took her face into her hands and gently touched her nose. 

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. I’m taking anatomy class and my mom’s a doctor,” she said.

Lena held her breath, because suddenly Alex was extremely close to her face and touching her!

“Seems fine to me; just a little blood. But you can go to a doctor if you don’t believe me.”

“No, I trust you. And I think it’s already stopped bleeding.”

Alex got to the refrigerator to find something to cool Lena’s nose with. The only useful thing in there was a bottle of water.

“What were you trying to do so close to my face anyway?” Alex laughed.

“I tried to wake you up to remind you about the biology experiment you have today.”

Alex turned around and looked at her roommate with wide eyes. She’d totally forgotten about that! 

She threw the cool water bottle at Lena and hurried to the bathroom to get changed. It took only two minutes before she got out again.

“Thank you so much! I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” she yelled and ran out the door.

 

 

It was around lunch time when Alex saw Lena again. She stood in the middle of the cafeteria with a tray in her hands, her eyes wandering across the hall, trying to find an empty table.

“Hey Lena, how is your nose?” Alex asked with an apologetic smile.

“Everything is fine,” she smiled back and then looked back into the hall. 

“And the thing from last night… I’m sorry that your mother is like that and I promise I won’t tell anyone.

Lena looked away for a second. She took in a deep breath.

“Thank you for last night. For being there I mean, and for listening.”

“Anytime,” Alex smiled. “Do you maybe want to sit with me and my friends?”

Lena was about to say no when she saw Alex’s reassuring smile. She gave Alex a nod and they went to their table.

They hadn’t even arrived at the table when Lena heard the first dumb comment.

“What do you want here, Luthor?” The tall black guy asked.

“I invited her to sit with us,” Alex snapped back.

“Why? Are you two friends now?” he laughed.

“It’s okay, Alex,” Lena said softly and then quickly hurried away to find a new table. She knew this was a mistake.

Alex looked after her for a second and then sat down and glared at James.

“What? I was just saying what everyone else was thinking.”

“She isn’t that bad. Actually she is really nice. And she doesn’t have any friends.”

“We’re not welfare. I don’t want to be near her.”

“Especially you should know what her family did,” Lucy interjected, her gaze slowly wandered towards Kara. The blonde was silently poking her food with a fork.

Alex sighed. She was torn. She didn’t want to hurt Kara, but in the other hand Lena had nothing to do with her brother’s activities. But they also hadn’t known each other for that long. 

Maybe her friends were right.

 

 

After this Lena was a little bummed. Even though she was used to it, seeing people openly hate her still stung a little. She halfheartedly picked her salat with her fork. She wasn’t hungry so instead of eating, she left the cafeteria early to get to her next lecture. She was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t even realise the person standing next to her.

“Is this seat taken?”

Lena looked up to see a tall brunette girl looking at her.

“Uhm… yes, no, I mean you can sit here.”

The girl smiled at her and sat down. Lena asked herself if she should make small-talk or not, but then she decided to better not bother the stranger. She wasn’t in the mood for talking anyway.

 

The lecture passed relatively quickly, even though Lena wasn’t listening at all. This topic was primitive anyway. So in the end she quickly packed her bag and got out.

“Hi sorry, can you wait for a second?” Lena looked back to see the girl from before. “You seem to really get this thing. Could you maybe explain it to me, cause I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe over a cup of coffee?”

Lena was dumbstruck and opened and closed her mouth a few times. “Uhm… yeah sure.”

“Awesome! Here is my number you can text me when you have time or give me a call,” she went to leave but then turned around again, “Oh and my name is Sam.”

“I’m Lena,” she said, expecting at least some recognition, but Sam only smiled and turned around.

Lena watched her walk away. That girl had to be from the moon to not know who Lena was. She walked home, thoughts still on her. When she entered her room, Alex looked up from her laptop.

“Hey, how was your day?” she asked, but before she could even answer Alex continued talking. “Sorry for the thing at the cafeteria, my friends are dumb sometimes. They just don’t know you long enough and-“

“Actually I already forgot about that. Can I have your advice on something different?”

Alex was a little taken back but nodded anyway.

“Uhm… I met a girl.”

“Oh really?” Alex leaned back in her chair and wiggled her eyebrows. 

Lena groaned and blushed a little. “Not like that. She’s in my management class and she asked if we could go over the material again and then she actually smiled at me! Do you think she knows who I am?”

“I don’t know. Did she say anything like that?”

“No, not at all. But maybe she’s an exchange student and doesn’t know my family.”

“Or maybe she does know them, but doesn’t judge you on behalf of your family.”

Lena looked at her for a second.

“Sounds unrealistic.”

Alex snorted loudly. “Just see how it goes and keep me updated.”

Lena promised to do so and sat down on her bed. She couldn’t help but think of this as a prank. She’d seen Alex’s friends during lunch, how disgusted they were by her. Even after all these years it still hurt if someone acted like this.

So maybe this Sam thought she could get a laugh out of this with her friends. 

Too bad that Lena was simply too nice to not help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Please tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to a new chapter!  
> Somehow, this got really fluffy and sappy. I'm sorry.

When Alex entered their room that evening, Lena was sitting at her desk over a bunch of books. Her forehead crinkled in concentration. 

“Do you not go to the library anymore? You’re always studying here,” Alex asked.

“It’s quiet here,” Lena answered, but Alex didn’t miss how she weirdly shifted in her seat.

“Really? Isn’t it always quiet in the library?”

Lena exhaled softly, “I don’t go there anymore, because I can’t concentrate when all I hear are dumb comments about me and my family,” she admitted.

“Just tell me their names I’ll deal with them.”

“Alex, no.”

“Alex, yes.”

“It’s my problem not yours,” Lena said and turned her attention back to her book.

“You can join me in this boxing class that I’m taking,” Alex shrugged.

At that Lena just had to laugh. “As if violence is going to solve my problems.”

The redhead sighed but let it go. She put her headphones in and decided to take a short break before starting the important work.

Somehow Lena still had to smile every single time she saw Alex wearing headphones instead of simply blasting loud music.

As always Alex’s short break turned out a little longer than expected. She still sat on her bed slowly doodling in her planner while listening to music. She looked up at Lena every now and then. Her roommate was sitting at her desk, as always, studying as always and for a short moment Alex wished she wouldn’t suck at drawing people, because Lena would make great inspiration. Alex wondered if Lena knew that she was that pretty, but then she quickly dropped that thought and shook her head. She shouldn’t be thinking about that. 

She put her headphones down and realised how silent it was without them. Maybe she could procrastinate just a little longer. A question was burning in the back of Alex’s mind and she had wanted to ask it all day, but never found the right time.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did.”

Alex raised her eyebrow and Lena just grinned at her.

“About the other day, what did your mom mean when she said she would send you back to therapy?”

The brunette scratched her pencil over her paper and immediately stopped writing. She looked shocked, as if she hadn’t seen that question coming at all.  
Alex saw her reaction and rushed to tell her that it wasn’t important and that she didn’t need to answer.

“Uhm… I guess I can tell you. But you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

Alex nodded earnestly. For some reason Lena felt as if she could trust her.

“I uhm… my mother caught me kissing a girl, when I was fifteen. We were in my room and I thought I was home alone. She got really angry and threw her out and she yelled at me. She locked me in my room and the next morning she drove me to a therapist.”  
Lena took a short break to collect her thoughts. Alex was still staring at her without blinking even once.  
“He said that what I did was disgusting and a shame to my family. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. So I told him what he wanted to hear: That I was just trying myself out and that I didn’t like kissing that girl. I told him we were practicing for ‘the real thing’. I had to go back there another time before my mother let it go. I never even dared to look at a girl again.”

Lena took a deep breath and for the first time since she had started talking, she looked Alex in the eyes. The redhead was wiping tears from her face. When Alex saw Lena’s look she instantly walked over and threw her arms around the brunette.

“I’m so sorry,” Alex whispered as she held Lena tight.

“It’s okay I-“

“No it’s not,” Alex cut her off, “No one should have to experience that. It is so wrong to tell you that you’re wrong! If your mother was here right now I would totally yell my opinion into her face, even though she is scary as hell.”

Lena chuckled a bit into Alex’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Alex. You’re a great friend.”  
‘The only one I ever had’ remained unspoken.

 

They stayed like this for a while until Lena admitted that she had to get back to work. Alex just laughed and let go of her. She put her headphones back on and softly nodded her head to the music.

Something had changed between the two of them. Maybe it was because they both shared the same secret, that they’d grown closer. Alex hadn’t even realised that it had happened. It was harder and harder for her to see Lena as just another Luthor, when she was actually just an abused child. Alex had thought about it a lot these past few days and she was lost in her thoughts again in that moment, so she didn’t hear the knock on the door. Lena got up to open it and was met with scared blue eyes staring at her. The blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times before she quickly turned around and ran away.

“That was weird,” Lena said to herself.

Alex looked up and threw her a questioning look.

“There was this girl. I think the one who was sitting at your table the other day? The blonde?”

At that Alex immediately got up and thanked Lena. She hurried out of their room to go after Kara.  
It took her a while before she finally found her strolling outside.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

Kara instantly turned around and gave her sister a short hug.

“I knocked at your door and she was there and I didn’t want to run away, it was stupid, but I forgot why I was there and I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, really, “Alex reassured her, “what did you want?”

“Actually, I just wanted to borrow some money because I spent all of mine on chocolate,” she said while her cheeks blushed.

“But how did you… It’s not even the middle of the month!”

“I know! I don’t know how that happened.”

Alex shook her head, “Okay fine, I’ll give you some, but promise you won’t buy sweets!”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

Alex laughed and shook her head again, “Come with me to my room and I’ll give you the money.”

Kara’s smile turned into concern at the thought of meeting Lena again.

Alex sighed, “Maybe we should sit down for a moment? I think I need to talk to you.”

They went to a nearby bench and sat down. Alex thought about her words for a few seconds.

“You should forget everything I told you about Lena. She has a horrible family, but that’s not her fault. Actually she is a really good person. I’m sorry I made you switch rooms in the first place and that I talked so bad about her.”

Kara nodded slowly, a crinkle appearing on her forehead.

“So you don’t have to be afraid of her or anything. She won’t hurt you or anyone. I was just stupid.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know better. It wasn’t stupid to assume bad things, but it also wasn’t nice. You should go apologize.”

“Wait, what?”

“You just said that you treated her wrong so you should apologize to her.”

Kara looked at her with a smile and Alex was a little confused.

“Uhm… yeah I think you’re right. You want to come with me to get your money?”

“Nah, give it to me tomorrow. Tell me how it went?”

Alex nodded again and slowly made her way back to the dorms. She was confused as to why her sister had so quickly changed her mind, but she was probably simply a better person.

 

 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said when she entered their room again. While she had walked back, she’d had some time to think about how to apologize to Lena. The brunette looked up at her, but before she could respond anything Alex continued:

“You’re always telling me what a good friend I am when I’m actually a horrible one,” Alex said and Lena looked at her with a crinkle on her forehead. 

“I was such a bitch to you and I assumed you were bad just because your family is. And I never defend you in front of my friends or do anything to convince them that you’re good!”

“You don’t need to do that-“

“Yes, I do! What kind of friend would I be otherwise? So I’m truly sorry that I don’t stick up for you. I promise I will do it from now on!”

Lena could already feel tear well up in her eyes. Since when was she so emotional? This was all Alex’s fault! She gulped it down and nodded softly.

“Thank you,” she said softly and Alex wrapped her into a tight hug.

She couldn’t believe how good she felt now.

 

The moment was ruined when Lena’s phone rang. The brunette picked it up to see that it was her mother. Not that anybody else was ever calling her.

“Hello mother,” she said, trying to sound strong.

Alex tried not to listen in. It seemed to be about some upcoming press even that her mother wanted Lena to attend. Lena tried to talk her mother out of it, but it didn’t seem to work.

“Do you still spend time with that _friend_ of yours?”

“Yes, mother, she is my roommate. It would be hard not to spend time with her.”

Alex looked up at Lena mentioning her. The brunette rolled her eyes and Alex tried to throw her an encouraging smile.

“Watch out, Lena. It takes one phone call for me to cancel the payments for your education and then you’re all alone. You need me. So you better do as I say.”

Alex could see the shift in Lena’s behaviour. She let them finish their call before she asked if everything was alright. Lena gave her a smile, but Alex could see that it was forced. She didn’t want to pressure her, so Alex simply had to accept that Lena was miserable and didn’t want to talk about it right now.

 

 

Lena had a lot going on so she’d already forgotten the nice girl from her management class until she stood in front of her table again. 

“Hey, remember me?” she asked.

“I do. Sorry I didn’t text you, I had a lot to do this week.” Lena said. She still thought that giving her phone number to a stranger was a bad idea, but this girl seemed to be nice and actually wanted to sit next to her again.

“No problem,” Sam said as she unpacked her bag. “Are you still up for it, though? I could use some help.” When Lena didn’t answer she added: “Coffee is on me.”

Lena agreed before she even realised it. But then the professor had already started talking and Sam turned around to listen to him.

Lena had to figure out quickly if Sam knew her last name and what her intentions were. And maybe she could do this over a cup of coffee.

 

It went good. Great even. Better than Lena would’ve ever expected. She let Sam buy her a cup of coffee and then they went over the material of the management class. Sometime in the middle Lena decided to get a quick bathroom break to prepare herself for what was about to come.  
Lena sat back down and cleared her throat.

“Why did you ask me for help and not anybody else?”

“Honestly? Because you were sitting alone and I was also kind of alone so I thought I would try my luck.”

“Do you know why I’m sitting alone?”

“If I can guess I would say because of your last name.”

“Huh,” Lena leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. That wasn’t something she’d expected.

“Just to get this right, you know my family and still decided to sit with me and make smalltalk and whatever?”

Sam nodded and smiled. Lena was clearly confused. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but had no idea what to say.

“Look, you have a shitty family, but so do I,” Sam explained. “I’m not going to judge you for that. And you were nice enough to help me out so there clearly isn’t anything wrong with you.”

Lena gulped down the lump in her throat. Alex had been right about her. Well, that was a first.  
When Lena didn’t say anything else Sam changed the topic back to their lecture as if nothing had happened. Lena, who was still a little stunned, turned her attention back to the books on the table. Who would’ve thought that it could be this easy?

 

When she came home that evening she had a big smile on her face. 

“You were right, Alex!” Lena said. “She is really nice to me even though she knows who I am.”

Lena told her roommate about her afternoon and that they wanted to meet again soon. Alex said how happy she was that Lena finally found someone like that, but the redhead had a weird expression on her face. Her smile seemed forced. Lena couldn’t interpret anything into it so she just let it go. She was too happy to think about it just now anyway.

And to be honest, Alex didn’t know what was wrong with herself either.

 

 

It was Saturday morning and Alex was jogging through the park, breathing in the chilly air, the fallen leaves crunching under her feet. She was already out of breath after a few minutes. She hadn’t done lots of sports since she started partying, apart from her boxing class to deal with all the anger. But now that she’d started to drink less she felt like she needed this again. Running until she’d feel her body and just being alone with her thoughts.  
Alex wasn’t entirely sure were the change of heart came from, but she clearly didn’t mind it.  
After a small round through the park she returned to her dorm room.  
When she entered, Lena was sitting at her desk with a huge coffee mug in front of her. 

“Sometimes it feels like you’re glued to that chair. You should stop studying every now and then,” Alex laughed and took her shirt off. Lena just nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on the movement of Alex’s abs.  
The redhead was beautiful and hot and sweaty and Lena, well Lena was gay.

“Are you ok?” Alex asked concerned, which seemed to snap Lena out of her trance.

“Yes! Yes, I’m just… uhm just not fully awake yet,” she stuttered.

Alex simply gave her a nod and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

In the meantime, Lena tried to concentrate on her work, but her mind wandered off to a certain redhead, who was in the shower right now, probably naked- Lena immediately shook her head. She was absolutely not thinking about her roommate in the shower! Or what she looked like naked, but probably beautiful and- nope, not going there.

When Alex came out of the bathroom a while later, Lena still sat in front of her laptop, her coffee was cold and she hadn’t written a single word.

 

It turned out to be kind of a routine for them, Alex went jogging almost every morning and Lena tried to discuss any topic when she came back so Alex would stand in front of her a little longer. Just dressed in her leggings and her sports bra and Lena felt really bad about it, but didn’t know what else to do. She just couldn’t stop.

Until one Saturday morning, when Lena found herself dressed in some sports clothes, waiting for Alex to get dressed. She didn’t remember when she’d agreed to join Alex on her morning run, but her roommate seemed so happy that Lena just couldn’t say no. She was too nice to back out of this. And maybe it was good for her body to take a study break.

Her positive thinking held on for exactly four and a half minutes. By that time they’d barely reached the park and Lena was already out of breath and breaking into sweat.  
How could Alex do this every morning?  
This was hell!

The redhead was a few steps ahead of her and the distance seemed to grow every second. Lena didn’t want to give up, she wanted to impress Alex and run faster. Even though the sight from behind wasn’t that bad… Lena hadn’t even finished that thought when she tripped over her own feet and stumbled to the ground, wincing in pain. Tears instantly welled up in her eyes.  
Why did she have to try jogging?  
She knew she wasn’t any good at running.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” she could hear Alex yell. The redhead had turned around and was now kneeling next to Lena. 

“It’s nothing bad. You go run, I’ll slowly walk back,” Lena said. She was still crying and sweating and didn’t want Alex to deal with that.

“Can you get up?” Alex asked softy.

Lena nodded, tried to stand up with Alex’s help and winced in pain.

“Ok, uhm… get on my back, I’m giving you a piggyback.”

“What? No! Uhm I mean no, I don’t…” but Alex was already getting down in front of her so Lena took a deep breath and climbed onto her roommate’s back. Alex gripped Lena’s legs and started walking into the direction where they came from. Lena shyly put her arms around Alex’s neck.

“If I’m too heavy just put me down ok? And I’m sorry that I’m so sweaty and dirty, you can totally put me down. I can get back on my own.”

“Relax, Lee,” Alex said and Lena could feel the goose bumps on her skin at the use of her nickname.

“It’s like doing my usual workout simply with weights, that is training enough,” she laughed.

“Wait, are you saying I’m fat?” Lena gasped playfully.

“If you’re joking around you must be fine. I guess you can walk the rest on your own,” Alex said, acting as if she was sitting Lena down. The brunette just laughed and nestled her head into Alex’s neck. 

If it wasn’t for her screaming ankle, this moment would’ve been perfect.

 

They walked back to campus mostly in silence. Alex checked in with Lena every now and then, wanting to know if the brunette was still okay up there. Lena was almost sad when they arrived and a little embarrassed when Alex insisted on carrying her to the nurse.  
Thankfully, there weren’t many people around. It was Saturday morning after all.

The nurse told Lena that her ankle was twisted and that it was nothing bad. She just needed to rest it for a few days. They slowly went back to their dorm. This time Lena insisted on walking the few steps. She leaned on Alex’s shoulder so it only hurt a little.

“I guess this is my rightful punishment for checking out your butt,” Lena mumbled under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing! Just thinking about my homework assignment.”

“You really need to rest every now and then,” Alex chuckled and shook her head.

“I’ll rest when I find time for it.”

Alex laughed and tried to pick Lena up again, but the brunette protested loudly and laughed and she continued to hobble.

Back in their room Alex helped her lay down on her bed and probed the injured foot up a bit. Lena just wanted to take a shower, but she couldn’t bear the thought of asking Alex to help her. That would be inappropriate in so many different ways and she’d embarrassed herself enough for one day.

“I think you’re bad for me. Since I know you, I’ve been hurt multiple times,” Lena chuckled.

“Well, I think it’s time we invest in a cooling pack,” Alex answered while trying to find something to cool Lena’s ankle with. She then handed her a bag of gummy bears that she’d kept in the freezer. Lucy had asked her to keep it here, hidden away from Kara.

“And for the record: I’m not bad for you, I’m great for your social life and your health. Well, most of the time,” she grinned and went into the bathroom.

Lena sighed, she couldn’t even disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please tell me what you think!  
> I set up a kofi page, so if you want, you can buy me a coffee here: http://ko-fi.com/queergirlelle


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I think I should make the chapters shorter, because there is always so much going on.  
> I hope you don't mind (and tell me if you do).

After Alex had first come clean to Kara about Lena, they actually sat together during lunch a few times. The others still eyed Lena weirdly so she preferred to eat alone, but she appreciated Alex’s effort. Kara even gave her a smile every now and then.

Lena realised how important Alex had become to her. She couldn’t quite believe that she had any friends in the first place. Sometimes she woke up in the morning, knowing that she’d dreamed of Alex, because the redhead’s smile was all she could remember.

So maybe she had a tiny crush on her roommate, but that wasn’t that bad. She’d had crushes in the past and they’d all gone away eventually. And it probably wasn’t even a real crush, she was just so happy that Alex was her friend.  
At least that was a good thing to tell herself.

“Can I maybe bring Sam to lunch next time?” Lena asked shyly. She was sitting at a table with Alex and Kara, because the others had already left.

“Sure,” Alex said. “I’m surprised you haven’t done that yet.”

“I don’t want to scare her away.”

“Why are you looking at me?” Alex asked. “Yeah, okay, I’ll behave.” Lena smiled and Kara snorted into her pudding. Even though Alex didn’t like the thought of hanging out with Lena’s new friend very much, she still wanted to meet this Sam person

So the next day, Lena asked Sam to join her for lunch. It took a quite a few attempts full of stuttering, but in the end, Sam smiled and agreed.

 

 

“Alex!”

“What?” Alex snapped out of her stupor. Her sister was waving her and in front of her face.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes!”

“Oh… yeah I was somewhere else.” Kara had started talking again, but Alex wasn’t listening. She was looking out for Lena. She and Sam should be here soon. Alex had no idea why she was so nervous to meet Sam. Maybe she was just scared that Sam was bad for Lena. That was probably it. She turned back to Kara and nodded a few times so she didn’t even notice when Lena arrived.

“Hey guys,” she greeted them. “This is Sam.”

The tall brunette gave them a quick wave and a soft smile. Alex was taken back by how pretty she was. In the meantime, Kara introduced them.

Alex was so lost in her thoughts that she missed the first half of the conversation.

“So you met Lena in your management class?” she asked after a while, because she felt like she needed to say something.

“Yeah, we have the same major,” Sam answered and smiled at Lena. “Even though I’d probably fail this class if it wasn’t for her.”

Alex could see Lena’s cheeks blush and her gut felt as if it was turning around.

“Oh please, you could totally manage without me,” Lena smiled back.

In that moment Alex decided that she didn’t like Sam. Or she did like her and there was something about her that wasn’t quite right. Maybe she was a little intimidated?  
She spent most of their lunch thinking about it, but came to no conclusion.

In the end, Sam had to leave early. Lena got up to say goodbye, when she dropped her scarf. Sam instantly reached down to pick it up. It was just a small gesture, but Lena shot her another bright smile.  
It was in that moment that Alex realised that there was nothing wrong with Sam.  
She was simply jealous.  
Terribly, horribly jealous.  
Because she was usually the only one to make Lena smile. And she just couldn’t cope with the fact that there was someone else now.

 

When Sam was gone, and Kara went to grab some more pie, Alex leaned over to Lena. She’d tried to collect herself and be nice even though she wasn’t feeling it.

“You clearly have good taste, I approve.”

“She’s just a friend,” Lena said with a blush. 

“I was just saying,” Alex shrugged, but on the inside she was already cheering. “In case you want her to be more than just a friend.”

Lena’s eyes wandered around for a few seconds and then she gave Alex a sad smile.

“I couldn’t date a girl. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll marry a man one day.”

“Wait what?” Alex ripped her eyes open. She’d almost spat out her water across the table.

“Well, what did you expect?”

“I don’t know. Have a happily ever after with the girl of your dreams?”

Lena smiled sadly. “I hope that for you, but my future will be different.”

Alex could feel her heart break. How could Lena just sit there and accept her cruel fate? Just like this? She almost didn’t notice that Lena got up from the table and said goodbye, because Alex’s mind was still racing. She’d expected a lot, but not that.

A minute later, Kara came back with her cake, distracting Alex from her thoughts.

 

 

When Lena entered her dorm room that night, she didn’t want to do anything more than sleep. When she’d thought about getting a job she hadn’t expected it to be this hard. The brunette walked to her bed and fell into it face forward. She let out a loud groan.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. She took her headphones out and looked over at Lena with concern written all over her face.

Lena gave her a half hearted nod and Alex just raised her eyebrow. Lena knew what that meant. _Stop keeping your emotions inside. You can talk to me._

“I got a job.”

“What? Why?” Alex asked, clearly expecting something different.

“I don’t really know… This wasn’t the first time that my mother threatened to cut my money of. Imagine she just stops paying one day and then I have nothing. So I thought I better start working now,” Lena explained.

“Uh huh and where?”

“You know the coffee shop at the corner near the Madison Hotel?”

“I do, so today was your first day?”

“Yeah and I don’t want to go back there.”

“When is your next shift?”

“Tomorrow, I only work on weekends so that I still have enough time for studying during the week.”

Alex nodded and grinned. Lena should’ve known what that meant. 

 

The next day at the very beginning of her shift she was already yearning for her bed.

“I think if you smile more, people are actually going to tip you,” someone said and Lena looked at the customer to see her roommate grinning at her.

“What? Are you here to laugh about me?” she asked, her shoulders tense.

“No, I just wanted a coffee. And maybe see you in an apron. It looks really cute,” she said with a wink. Lena could feel her shoulders relax and her cheeks blush.

“So do you take my order or should I ask someone else… uhm Alex?” Alex asked looking at Lena’s name tag. The brunette blushed even more. Why wasn’t anyone else here who wanted to buy a coffee? Not that she wanted to get rid of Alex, but she didn’t want to answer her questions. Her roommate was clearly waiting for an answer.

“Uhm… Kelly, the manager, thought it would be best if I go by a different name so no one would instantly recognize me as Lena Luthor.”

Alex felt sorry for her friend. Now it made sense that she got a job here, when there were lots of other coffee shops closer to campus.

“And why take Alex?”

“It was the first thing that came to my mind.” The brunette was blushing even harder now and Alex let out a soft laugh. In that moment another customer stepped in so Alex had to finally place her order.

“Large black coffee and my name is Lena,” Alex said and placed the money on the counter. Lena chuckled and hurried to make the coffee, because Kelly was eying her suspiciously. Alex put the change into the tip jar, took her cup of coffee and left. She quickly waved at Lena before she disappeared.  
When she sipped her coffee, she realized that Lena had drawn several smiley faces onto the cup.

 

That night Lena came home just as exhausted as the day before. She was thankful that she only had to work three days a week. She couldn’t imagine how other people did this. After a quick shower she felt way better.  
When she walked out of the bathroom, she saw that Alex was trying to make something in the microwave. She got ready to call the firefighters and suddenly saw the coffee cup she had given to Alex standing on her roommate’s desk. For a quick second her heart beat faster, because Alex had kept the cup! Until she remembered that Alex usually needed about a week before she would throw away her trash and suddenly she was sad again.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked and Lena realized that she hadn’t moved for a few minutes.

“Yeah, sure. Uhm what are you up to?” she asked gesturing at the bag of popcorn in Alex’s hand.

“Well Kara cancelled on me for movie night so I thought I’d make my own.”

“What are you watching?” 

“I haven’t decided yet. Probably some old action movie, Kara hates them so I never get to watch them.”

“I haven’t seen a good action movie in ages,” Lena said, trying to sound nonchalantly.

“You can watch with me if you want. I have enough popcorn,” Alex offered. Lena tried to contain her excitement. She had hoped that Alex would ask because she would never ask on her own.

“Yeah, if I’m not imposing.”

“Nah, come here,” she said patting a spot on her bed.  
Lena smiled and sat down next to Alex. Not too close, but when she didn’t move closer Alex simply scooted into her direction with her laptop.

It didn’t matter that Lena didn’t care about the movie they were watching, because she could barely concentrate anyway. Her shoulder touched Alex’s shoulder! After a few minutes of sitting stiffly and barely moving Lena slowly started to relax. Alex enjoyed the movie and Lena enjoyed the popcorn. 

Every now and then Alex would name some interesting facts about the actors.

“I’m impressed how many useless things you know, “Lena teased.

“Hey! They may be super useful one day, you’ll never know!” Alex made a serious face and Lena let out a loud laughter. She scooted a little lower so that she could place her head on Alex’s shoulder before she could chicken out. Alex was about to slowly pull her arm around Lena’s waist when their door flew open.

“Hey Danvers, I-“ Lucy startled and Alex immediately dropped her arm.

“Kara told me you needed company for movie night?” Lucy asked. Her arms were now crossed in front of her chest. Alex paused the movie and scooted away from Lena.

“I found company, but thanks Luce, maybe next time,” she tried to smile her nervousness away. Lucy threw them another weird look and left without another word. Alex got up and ran after her. The girl was already down the hall when Alex caught up with her.

“Wait, Lucy! You didn’t have to run away, we were-“

“You were what? It’s one thing that you bring her with you to lunch, I know she doesn’t have friends and it’s sad whatever, but whatever is going on between you two is not a good idea.”

“There is nothing going on!”

“I just don’t want you to get in danger! Doesn’t matter if you guys are dating or just friends; you shouldn’t trust her.” With that Lucy gave her one last pitiful glance and left.

After that Alex slowly walked back to her room. There was nothing going on between her and Lena! They barely even liked each other! She told this to herself a few times.  
When she entered the dorm room Lena was sitting on her own bed fidgeting with her hands. She looked up when Alex entered, a million questions in her eyes.

Alex didn’t know what to say, “Uhm… do you want to finish the movie?”

“No, I think I’ll go to bed,” Lena said with a shaky voice. She got up and went to the bathroom. Alex closed her laptop and dropped onto her bed. This evening had started out so great. Why couldn’t things be good for one single night?

 

About an hour later, they were both lying in bed. Alex knew that Lena was still awake because she shifted around in bed every five minutes.

“Lena?” Ales whispered.

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“No, but that’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

It was quiet for a second before Lena turned around another time, “Good Night, Alex.” 

There were so many other things that she wanted to say, like _Thank you for trying to be my friend,_ but this wasn’t the right time to open up her heart. Someone would rip it out again eventually.  
Why wouldn’t she learn from her mistakes?

 

 

Alex spent the next morning thinking about how to cheer Lena up a bit. She had seen her cry often enough and her heart broke a little bit every time. Alex tried so hard to find anything that she forgot the most obvious thing.

“Hey, it’s my birthday tomorrow, which I almost forgot by the way, and I’m going out with some friends for pizza and drinks. Do you want to join us?” Alex asked without looking up.  
That’s why she couldn’t see Lena’s blush. She just got invited to a birthday party! But she wasn’t sure whether she should accept or not, Alex’s friends probably wouldn’t be that happy about having her there.  
Alex saw Lena’s doubts and interrupted her thoughts.

“Sorry, wrong phrasing: It’s my birthday and you are invited. Tomorrow at seven, meet you here,” she grinned.

“But what if your friends don’t want me there?” she asked in a small voice.

“I want you there. And if my friends don’t like you then they can leave,” she said and then went into the bathroom. Leaving behind a blushing Lena. Alex had really invited her to her birthday!

 

Lena was turning around a few times in front of the mirror.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

Alex looked up from the pile of clothes she was currently sitting in.

“Oh wow!” Lena was wearing a form fitting blue dress and Alex needed a minute to take this in.

“Uhm… you look awesome, but maybe a little too fancy for pizza?”

The brunette nodded and started to look for something different. Under Alex’s advice she decided for jeans and a purple blouse.

She had wished Alex a Happy Birthday this morning, and she wasn’t sure what the standard procedure for birthdays was so she just kept on living normal, waiting for more advice.

The only birthday present she was able to get so fast was a to-go coffee cup and a gift card from the coffee shop she worked at.

“I know it is a horrible gift, but I’m not that creative and I didn’t have that much time. If you don’t like it I can get you something new and-“

At that point Alex had already taken her into a hug and thanked her. And Lena didn’t ever want to let go again.

 

When they arrived Kara and Lucy were already there and shortly after them a girl named Nia arrived. Lena had only seen her one time before. Kara threw her a big smile and even Lucy greeted her almost friendly. She wondered if Alex had told them to.  
Alex gave all of her friends a big hug. She wasn’t really ready to eat again, because Kara had brought her a cake earlier.

“Eliza says Happy Birthday,” she had said and winked. Alex knew that it was dangerous for Kara to use her powers, but she got cake out of it so she didn’t complain.

It took the other girls a while to warm up with Lena around, but no one made snarky comments or asked why she was there. Lena mostly listened to their conversation and held back. They all talked with impressive speed and volume. They ordered pizza and some cocktails. Lena’s decision was made by Alex. She knew that Lena had never had a drink before so she ordered something light. 

“So only girls’ night tonight?” Nia asked.

“Yeah, Winn has this project going on for physics or whatever it is and I didn’t really feel like inviting James. Usually he is really great, but somehow we don’t really get along anymore.”

Lena couldn’t help but wonder if this was because of her. She could swear that Kara was looking at her right now. She quickly sipped from her drink to avoid saying something stupid.

“What about Daniel? I thought you two had something going on?” Nia asked again.

“Ew, no!” Alex laughed and was quickly interrupted by the waiter bringing their food.

Their pizza came and everybody started to eat. Lena grabbed fork and knife and started to cut her pizza into pieces. 

“What are you doing?” Lucy asked with a small laughter.

Lena looked up to see that everyone else was eating their pizza with their hands. She blushed as she quickly put her cutlery down and picked one piece up with her hand. Even though Alex assured her that she could eat her food however she liked. Lucy laughed and gave her thumbs up as she held a piece in her hands.

 

The night ended really well for all of them. Lucy and Nia had a few too many drinks so Kara offered to walk them home. Lena was already feeling dizzy after having two drinks so she instantly stopped. She didn’t know what kind of person her drunk self would be. Back in their room she dropped right into bed with her shoes still on.

“You didn’t drink that much tonight, even though it was your birthday,” Lena thought out loud.

“No, I’m trying to behave. And also we took a few shots at the bar while you were talking to Kara.”  
Lena chuckled at that.

“Thank you, Alex. Tonight was really great. I would invite you to my birthday, but that was last month and also you would probably be the only guest.”

“What?” Alex perked up.

“Well, you know that I don’t really have friends or-“

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care about it,” she thought for a second, “my mother forgot it anyway, she didn’t even send me a text. I’m used to it.”

She sat up and pulled her shoes off, while Alex still looked at her with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, as I said, I’m used to it.”

 

Two days later Alex came home with a huge grin on her face. Lena almost was a bit worried that Alex had hurt her jaw and that was the reason for this wicked grin.

“I got something for you,” Alex said excitedly.

Lena turned around in her chair and raised an eyebrow.

“Happy Birthday!” Alex smiled and handed her a small wrapped package. 

“You really got me a present?” Lena was about to cry without even unpacking it first. She couldn’t find the right words so she simply opened it.

“It’s a belated birthday gift and also because your side of the room looks so empty and I decided that it needs some colour.”

Lena finally ripped the package open. It was a rainbow coloured picture frame with a picture of the two of them. Lena remembered that moment. It had been at Alex’s birthday party. Alex had just gotten a piece of cake and looked like the happiest human being on earth. She smiled into the camera and Lena was sitting next to her looking at Alex in an almost dreamy way. Kara had taken the pictures that night. Lena remembered because she complained that no one would sit still for a second. Lena looked at the gift for one more second and then pressed the frame close to her chest.

“Thank you,” she whispered, a few happy tears running down her cheeks and Alex pulled her into a tight hug.

“You really didn’t have to. You already gave me a present.”

“I did?” Alex asked as she pulled back from the hug. She could see Lena’s cheeks blush.

The brunette softly nodded. “You made me soup.”

Lena could see the wheels turning in Alex’s head. For a second she regretted having said anything, but then Alex’s mouth fell open.

“That was your birthday?”

She nodded again, not sure what else to say without crying. Alex had already wrapped her arms around her again. Holding her close for what felt like hours.

“But why… but how could he… I’m so sorry,” the redhead whispered over and over again.

“It’s okay. I mean it probably wasn’t his intention to start the attack on my birthday. But that was the first time he ever forgot my birthday. He’d always bring me a present. Just that year he forgot it.”

“I’m so so sorry, Lena.”

Lena let herself fall into Alex’s arms. She had cried so often since they knew each other that she didn’t even care anymore. All she cared about was that she’d never felt so safe before.

So maybe her crush was getting a little out of hand, but the way Alex softly stroked her back while she was crying? How could she not fall in love with someone like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You remember when I said prepare for a lot of clishés? I just love coffeeshop AUs!  
> Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter a month before Halloween, so I thought it would be out in time.  
> Guess I'm a little late, but please enjoy this Halloween chapter.

If someone had asked Alex a month ago where she’d see herself on this weekend, she’d probably answered something like ‘at a club’ or ‘out with her friends’. She’d never expected to see herself sitting at her desk, studying and drinking a cup of tea on a Saturday night. It was probably Lena’s bad influence, she thought and chuckled.

She knew her roommate was still at work and she admired that Lena actually found time to work and still have good grades.

Just as Alex thought about calling it a night her phone rang. She looked at the picture and picked up.

“Lena? Everything okay?” She could hear sobbing and the pouring rain in the background.

“I don’t… I took the wrong bus and don’t know where I am.”

“Can you tell me anything about your surroundings? What bus station are you at?” Alex asked, already grabbing her jacket and car keys.

It took a while before Alex figured out where Lena was. Apparently she went into the completely wrong direction. Alex found her pressed to a house wall, trying to escape the rain. She honked once and Lena ran towards the car. She was shivering and water dropped from her hair onto her shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked, already shredding out of her jacket to hand it to Lena. She turned the heat up and turned the car around to drive back to the dormitory. Lena was already stuttering an apology.

“I didn’t… I didn’t know that there was a different bus at night. I’m sorry that you had to pick me up.”

“Nah don’t worry, I was only studying,” Alex smiled.

“I’m so sorry that I interrupted you! Just because I’m too stupid to read a fucking bus plan.”

“That’s what friends are for,” the redhead smiled.

Alex didn’t know if Lena was crying or if it was just water from the rain. Her right hand found Lena’s hand and squeezed it. She reassured Lena again that everything was fine.

Once back in their room Alex shoved Lena towards the bathroom and told her to take a hot shower. In the meantime Alex went through Lena’s closet to find some warm clothes. When she couldn’t find anything warm and comfortable she simply took something from her own closet.

“Are you feeling better now?” she asked when Lena got out of the bathroom.

The brunette nodded and went towards her bed. Alex handed her a hoodie. Lena looked at it for a second and then put it on without further question.

She nuzzled into the soft warm hoodie. It smelled like Alex and Lena suddenly felt warm and safe. She laid down in her bed and let Alex tuck her in.

“You were right, you know? In the end I’m just a dumb rich kid with a personal driver and I can’t even read a bus plan.”

“There are more important things in life,” Alex smiled. She gently stroked Lena’s damp hair and put a strand behind her ear.

“Good Night, Lena.”

Lena wanted to ask Alex to hold her, to make sure she was warm, but she didn’t want to overstep or make Alex feel uncomfortable. Also she didn’t want to risk the only friendship she had because of a stupid crush. Not again.  
She thought of Alex’s smile and somehow that was all she needed to keep her warm and fall asleep.

Alex thought she could go back to studying, but her gaze always drifted off to Lena’s sleeping figure. She sighed and decided to go to bed. There was no way she could concentrate when Lena was being so cute while sleeping.

 

 

“Hey Al, why weren’t you at Shawn’s party last night?” Lucy greeted her as she entered the café. She looked a little pale and had huge bags under her eyes. Other than that, she was flawless as always.  
It was Sunday morning and Alex felt great, probably because she actually got some work done last night.

“Tommy asked for you a million times, but I think he just wanted to hook up with someone.”

She watched how Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“I wouldn’t hook up with him if I were you, he is a dick and would probably only brag about it,” Lucy continued. Her mind drifted to Lena and Alex.  
“Or maybe you already have someone? Is that why you stopped going out with us?”

“What? Oh… uhm no, I’m not… involved with anyone. I don’t really have time for that right now. I just needed some time without partying to catch up on my courses, you know?”

Lucy nods slowly, “Look Alex, if there is something going on between you and Lena then you can tell me! I mean I thought that if you would ever try girls your first choice wouldn’t be Lena Luthor, but it’s okay I guess.”

“What… how did you? I’m not… what?” Alex stammered.

“It’s really okay, girls are pretty great, I would know about it. And being bi is also pretty great.”

“I’m not bi!”

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, but you also don’t have to lie to me, I’m your friend.”

“Lucy, really, I’m not bi.”

“I get it, you need time to figure that out-“

“I’m gay!” Alex suddenly blurted out. Lucy startled and was silent for a second.

“I’m not into guys, like at all. And I just recently figured that out and it still isn’t easy for me,” she admitted.

“I’m so happy for you!” Lucy said and immediately stood up and walked around the table to wrap her up in a hug.

“And I thought I would be your gay awakening!” she laughed, “and if this somehow isn’t already clear: I’m bi and it’s awesome!” she laughed and pulled Alex in for another hug. 

The redhead was a little overwhelmed with the whole situation and she had to try really hard to hold back her tears. She never would’ve guessed that it could be so easy to come out to her friend.  
They talked a lot and laughed a lot and Alex couldn’t even describe how light and free she felt in that moment.

“But seriously, what is going on between you and Lena?”

“There is nothing, we are just friends. But even if there was it wouldn’t be so bad, because she is a nice person. You’ll see that one day.”

Lucy smiled and nodded and Alex let out a relieved sigh. Maybe some time she would believe her own words.

 

 

It was a chilly morning, Alex had decided to only run a short round. Even though her clothes kept her warm, her face was frozen and she couldn’t feel her fingers. She was happy when she finally entered the dorm again.

Her roommate was sitting on her bed with a cup of tea in her hand and a biology book in her lap. She looked really comfy and at peace and Alex simply had to smile.

“Why are you still running? It is freezing outside,” Lena asked.

“I don’t know. I like the cold air,” Alex shrugged. She looked at Lena for a moment.

“Are you wearing my hoodie?”

Lena quickly looked down on herself and blushed a little.

“I’m sorry I’ll give it back! I can wash it first if you want!” she was already undressing when Alex stopped her.

“No, stop, keep it on!” The quick thought of Lena undressing passed her mind and she was ashamed of herself for even thinking that.

“Uhm… you gave it to me the other day, when I was cold and I don’t really have that many warm clothes and none of my sweaters is as comfy as this and-“ she stopped when she heard Alex laughing.

“Your rambling is worse than my sister’s,” she said while still laughing, “You can keep it on, it looks really cute on you.”

And with that she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving behind a blushing Lena.

 

 

Once again, Lena was watching Alex and Kara walking through the cafeteria. Kara tried placing six cupcakes onto her plate and Alex just laughed and turned around to look for a table. Lena instantly looked down. After all this time she was still waiting for the day when Alex would decide that their friendship was useless or a waste of time. The day Alex and her friends would laugh at her because she seriously believed the joke that they wanted to be friends with her.

But today probably wasn’t that day, because Alex and Kara made their way over to her table.  
The redhead was smiling at Lena and set her food onto the table. She sat down across from Lena and Kara next to her.

“When are you working this weekend?” Alex asked without even greeting her first.

“Only Friday and Saturday morning, why?” The grin on Alex’s face made her a little nervous as always. Kara was also beaming with joy.

“There is this really cool Halloween party Saturday night and it’s going to be so much fun. I’ve been waiting for it for so long and I already have a costume and-“

“What Kara is trying to say: We and a couple of friends are going to this party. Do you want to come with us?”

Lena wasn’t sure what to answer so she simply took a sip from her water.

“And if you want we can find you a costume with a mask so no one will know it’s you,” Alex suggested. Her eyes were almost hopeful and so Lena just had to say yes.

“But only if you really want to go with me and not just because you feel obligated,” she added quickly.

At that Alex rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Of course we want to go with you, dummy,” Kara laughed. And Lena smiled even if she had no idea what she was getting into.

 

Even though Lena had to study for the midterms, Alex decided to drag her out to the mall.

“Your brain can learn better if you take a break every now and then,” she had said before she basically shoved Lena out of the door.

So now they were strolling through a costume shop. Lucy had joined them at some point and Lena could hear them giggle somewhere in the back. Somehow Lucy slowly seemed to accept her. Occasionally she would even smile at Lena. Lena marked it as progress.  
She was looking at a couple of dresses when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned around and let out a yelp at the sight of the clowns face.

“What are you saying? Clown or no clown?” Alex asked with a grin.

“Definitely no clown.”

In the end Lena let Alex choose her outfit, even though she wasn’t sure that was a good idea.

“That’s what dressing up is all about,” Alex had said. “You can be whoever you want to be.”  
But Lena didn’t know who she wanted to be. She always only was who she was told to be.  
So maybe Alex choosing her outfit would give her some ideas.

Three days later Lena was regretting her choice of agreeing to this in the first place. She had a lot of work to do before her exams (and by that she meant that she obviously already knew everything for every test).

She stepped out of their bathroom and could basically see Alex’s chin drop. 

“Wow, you look hot!” Alex exclaimed which made Lena shift nervously. She was wearing a red dress, a long black coat, blood red lips and fangs which tasted like cheap plastic. Overall she wasn’t truly happy, but it could’ve been worse.

“I got you this,” Alex said and handed her a lacy mask. “In case you feel better with it.”

Lena smiled as she saw the gift. Only now she took in Alex’s outfit.  
Alex’s outfit with very few fabric.  
Alex’s outfit with a lot of skin.

“Cop or stripper?” Lena asked with a nervous laughter.

“Open for interpretation,” Alex answered and wiggled her eyebrows.

Lena tried to guide her eyes away from her roommate’s cleavage, put her mask on and they were ready to go.

 

With Kara as Wonderwoman and Lucy as whatever the black leather outfit was supposed to be, the four of them were certainly turning quite a few heads as they walked into the house. It was mostly decorated with false cobwebs and there were more people than Lena had expected.

Alex and Lucy instantly stormed to the bar and Lena nervously followed them. She wasn’t feeling all too well around here and maybe some alcohol would help.

After a few drinks Alex and Lucy made their way to the dance floor. Next to Lena Kara and Winn (who Lena almost didn’t recognize as a zombie) were talking, but it was hard for her to listen.

Her eyes were on the dance floor, where Alex and Lucy were dancing close together. Their bodies moving perfectly to the music. And even though Lena had to admit that Lucy was extremely attractive, Alex still took the cake. The little laughter she let out as she spun Lucy around, her hips swaying in these awfully short shorts…

Lena took a sip from her drink to cope with her attraction, only to realize that her cup was empty. She got herself a new drink and turned away from the dance floor, trying to follow the conversation between Kara and Winn.

A little while later, Lena actually started having fun. She even danced a little with Kara. The blonde was freaking out to the music, while Lena stiffly moved her hips left and right. But it was fun nevertheless. 

It was only when she looked around the room, she saw a guy leading Alex towards the stairs. She was all giggly and he seemed determined. Lena’s heart beat started to quicken. Should she do something? It was Alex’s life after all. But she didn’t want Alex to feel bad about herself again.

Lena took a shot to get enough courage, and coughed a little at the burning feeling.

“Alex! Wait a second,” she yelled over the sound of the music. The redhead stopped and threw her a confused look. She was a few steps up, looking down at Lena.

“Just… uhm. Just don’t do anything you will regret tomorrow, okay?”

Alex’s confused look turned into a smile.

“I promise,” she smiled and pressed a kiss on top of Lena’s head.

Then she turned around, took the guy’s hand again and they went upstairs.

Lena couldn’t help but kept wondering if Alex’s would’ve kissed her on the lips if she hadn’t been standing on the stairs.

The brunette tried not to think about Alex being in a room with that guy doing whatever they were doing. Also the alcohol was making her brain fuzzy. Kara forced her to dance another round and have fun until Lucy declared that they needed more shots. She wasn’t really feeling like drinking more, but Lena desperately wanted Alex’s friends to like her so she joined them.

 

 

Lena was feeling as if she was floating. Alex was dancing around her in that sexy cop/stripper outfit. Winking at her. Kissing her on the head and maybe this time she would lean down to her lips.

“There you are!” Someone exclaimed and Lena opened her eyes to see Kara standing over her. “We’ve been looking for you. I’ll get Alex, don’t go away.”

Lena wasn’t feeling like going away anyway. She was happy here. Lying in the front yard, on the wet grass, looking up at the stars.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alex asked softly as she stepped into Lena’s line of sight.

“I just needed the world to stop turning for a second.”

“You should know that it is important for the earth to turn. Didn’t you listen to the professor in physics?” Alex said as she sat down next to Lena. The brunette was laughing softly, but it sounded more like cackling.

“Do you want to stay here or go home? You look like you need your bed,” Alex said softly.

“You’re cute when you’re concerned about me,” Lena giggled. “No one’s ever concerned about me.”

In that moment Kara came out and handed both of them a bottle of water. They’d wanted to walk back to their dorms, but Lena wasn’t able to walk straight so they called for an uber.

“You could just carry me like last time,” Lena giggled, which made Kara raise an eyebrow.

“Maybe next time,” Alex laughed and softly guided Lena into the car.

Kara sat in the front softly humming to the music playing on the radio. In the back Lena was softly chuckling to herself. Alex looked at her, unspoken question in her eyes.

“It’s weird how British people say ‘lift’ instead of ‘elevator’ and how my mother says ‘you’re a disappointment’ instead of ‘I love you’.”

“Lena, I don’t think-“

“The sad thing is: I didn’t even think of that on my own. I read it somewhere online and thought it was fitting. I can’t even think of my own funny lines. I’m a disappointment in all aspects of life.”

Alex looked at her as if she was ready to cry. When Lena smiled and turned away Alex cupped Lena’s face with her hands. Softly forcing her to look into her eyes. Lena’s eyes were big and confused and Alex softly whispered.

“You’re a lot of things; brilliant, beautiful, and so kind. But you could never be a disappointment.”

Lena’s eyes were tearing up. Alex was looking at her with such clearness and certainty. Their faces were so close to each other that Lena could feel Alex’s breath on her lips. The redhead’s hands were still caressing Lena’s cheeks and she could see her slowly leaning in. Lena was about to close her eyes when the car came to an abrupt halt.

“We’re home!” Kara announced happily. Alex smiled softly at Lena before dropping her hands and unfastening the seat belt.

They made sure Kara got to her dorm safely and Alex made her drink some water before going to bed.

Alex fell into bed when they arrived at their dorm. So Lena was sure that they wouldn’t get back to continue where they’d stopped. It was fine, she wouldn’t want to kiss Alex and risk not remembering in the morning.

Lena fell asleep with a smile on her face, hoping that they’d both remember this night.

 

 

When Lena woke up the world was turning way too fast. She groaned and pulled the blanket over her head to avoid the light coming from the window. She could hear Alex’s chuckle from across the room. Slowly Lena pulled the blanket back down. Alex was in the same position, blanket covering most of her face, but Lena could still see the smile in her eyes.

“So how does your first hangover feel?” Alex asked with a raspy voice, which might or might not have turned Lena on a tiny bit.

“I’m not sure if it was worth it.”

“It totally was.” Alex slowly sat up in her bed. “By the way; thank you for stopping me last night. I mean I wasn’t going to sleep with him, but thank you for caring.”

To say Lena was surprised would’ve been an understatement.

“But then what did you…”

“We talked a bit. We made out. And then I said I’m too drunk for that shit and left.”

“But why did you go in the first place?”

Alex shrugged. “I might know that I’m gay, but I’m not ready to tell everyone. Also I kind of have a reputation and I didn’t want anyone to get suspicious and now that I’m saying it out loud it makes no fucking sense at all.”

Lena let out a loud laughter.

“Seriously, people should just mid their own business! Why do I care?”

Lena grinned at her roommate. Somehow, she was so relieved. Obviously only because Alex felt better being herself and for no other reason.

“You’re right,” Lena said after thinking for a minute. “This night was totally worth the hangover.”

“Oh wow, we need to celebrate that! I’m making celebratory coffee.” Alex got up, still a little shaky on her legs, but with a big smile on her face.

Lena was smiling, too, her face hidden in her pillow as she watched Alex walking around the room, making coffee, while happily humming a melody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!  
> I love the fact that 90% of the time I write how Lena is studying, I should be studying in real life.

It was slowly getting colder outside, which was why Alex spend more times sitting in her bed, watching movies than going outside. She still invited Lena every now and then which Lena appreciated.   
Lena also appreciated the fact that Alex had started wearing a beanie almost every day. It really was the cutest thing she’d ever seen.

Their friendship had never been better. On some days Lena woke up thinking it had all just been a dream. That she was still a loner, but Alex made sure to remind her that she indeed had friends. Lena found herself daydreaming about Alex quite often, especially when she was alone in their room. At some point she’d snap out of it and jump back into work.

Somehow Lena had passed all of her exams, even though she’d spent half of the time thinking about Alex.

_“Good luck with your exam. I’ll think about you, but not if that makes you nervous,” Alex said and Lena just laughed as she went out the door._

In the end Lena did indeed get nervous at the fact that Alex was thinking about her. But she somehow managed to concentrate anyway.

A few days later, Lena and Alex and Lucy were sitting in the cafeteria, chatting over their lunch, when Sam came running towards them.

“I passed my exam!” she squealed and pulled Lena into a tight hug from behind.

“I told you, you’d make it!”

Lena got up to give her a proper hug, both of them were beaming. Lucy’s gaze switched in between the two of them and Alex. The redhead was staring at Sam in an almost angry way. When she realised that Lucy was watching her, Alex turned her attention back to her noodles.  
The last thing she needed right now was Lucy finding out about her jealousy.

 

Alex was glad that she and Kara had planned a sister night for that evening. That would definitely help distract her. Lately they’d barely found time for it.   
That night Kara insisted on getting ice-cream, even though it was freezing cold outside.

“Before we get back, I wanted to tell you something.”

Kara expectantly looked at her and Alex felt her heartbeat quicken. She knew that Kara could hear it. This afternoon Alex had decided that it was finally time to come out to Kara. She’d better do it now before her sister would find out on her own.

“There is something you don’t know about me. I mean I’m still the same person and I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Alex,” Kara interrupted her “I’m your sister!”

Alex took a deep, shaky breath.

“I like girls the way I’m supposed to like boys,” she admitted.

“That’s it? That’s what you were afraid of telling me?”

“Well, yes?”

“Oh Alex.” Kara had wrapped her up in a tight hug in a second.

“So it’s okay for you? That I’m… gay?” she whispered the last part.

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

Alex smiled and hugged Kara again. Her body was flooded with relief. She had sworn herself she wouldn’t cry, no matter what Kara’s response would be.

“You know on Krypton we didn’t have the concept of gay and straight. Nobody cared about that so I don’t really know why you humans make such a big deal out of it.”

Alex chuckled and hugged her sister again before they slowly started to walk back to the dormitory.

“I might tell mom over Thanksgiving, but please don’t say anything yet, okay?”

Kara agreed and they continued to walk back.

 

When Alex got back to her dorm, she was still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“What got you all happy and smiling?” Lena asked.

“I came out to my sister!” Alex announced happily.

“Oh wow! How did she take it?”

“Really good,” Alex chuckled. “Like much better than expected.”

Lena got up from her bed to give Alex a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

Alex melted into the hug. Her heart seemed to feel much lighter now. She pulled back and grinned at Lena, who smiled back. But the brunette’s face was hiding something.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” She looked down and her cheeks blushed a little.

“Now that I think about it you’ve been down all day. What’s wrong?”

When Lena didn’t answer Alex reached for her hand and gave her a reassuring smile.  
Lena sighed and sat down on her bed. Alex quickly followed her. 

“I just remembered that mother expects me to bring a boy home for the holidays.” At Alex’s confused look she continued, “My family is expanding the company and they’re opening a new office complex in the city. This is a big thing and mother wants a handsome guy, who’ll look good next to me in the pictures.”

“I can’t believe your mother sometimes,” Alex scoffed. She glanced at Lena and squeezed her hand, which she was still holding. “We’ll figure something out, okay? Maybe one of our friends would go.”

“Sure, which one has a death wish?”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.” A grin spread on the brunette’s face when she saw Alex’s pout.

“If you want to help me than think of a lie as to why I couldn’t bring someone home.”

Alex thought for a second and Lena couldn’t help but smile at the little crinkle that formed on her forehead.

“His family had plans on their own so he couldn’t come.”

“Business and appearance should always come first,” Lena said, mocking her mother’s voice perfectly. Alex broke into laughter and needed a moment to contain herself.

“Ok, uhm… you just recently met him and it isn’t that serious yet.”

“If he seems valuable to us then that it good enough. You can get to know him later. Don’t waste your time with that,” Lena said with Lillian’s scolding voice.

Alex raised her eyebrow at that but kept on trying.

“You’re simply stressed and have no time to waste it with stupid frat boys.”

“You shouldn’t be stressed out so easily. You’re a Luthor after all, you should be intelligent.”

“Yeah, but if you want to get your degree earlier than anybody else, you have to work harder and then you can join the family business sooner.”

Lena opened and closed her mouth and thought for a second. “That could actually work.”

“Ha! I’m a genius!” Alex yelled, which made Lena laugh.

 

 

Thanksgiving passed by relatively uneventful. Eliza was happy that Kara was doing so well in college and Alex told her that she finally started to get along with her roommate.

When Eliza asked her about a boyfriend, Alex almost choked on her salad. She took another sip of water, but couldn’t bring herself to tell her mother. She gulped the lump in her throat down and forced a smile onto her face.

“There is no one I’m interested in and I don’t really have time for a relationship anyway.”

“Is college stressing you out so much?”

Eliza gave her an almost pitying look and then turned to Kara again.

Alex slumped back in her seat. Whatever she said, her mother would turn the words around. So nothing had changed.

 

A day after that Kara found a picture of Lena in the newspaper. She stood behind a smiling Lillian, looking just a little dead inside.

Alex sent the picture to Lena and wrote:   
_Shocking news: Lena Luthor attends family event without male company!_

A few minutes later she got an answer.   
_Are people already speculating about me dying alone?_

Alex grinned and texted back.   
_Probably, I mean you already look dead inside._  
And after a quick thought she added: _You should smile more often. You have a beautiful smile._

This time it took almost half an hour before Alex got an answer.   
_Thank you, I’ll do that._

Had Alex made her feel uncomfortable? She shook her head abandoned that thought quickly. Lena probably just didn’t know how to cope with compliments. Alex knew that the concept of honest compliments was foreign to her. She put her phone away and simply hoped that she’d made Lena smile at least for a minute.

 

When Alex came back to College after the holidays she was disappointed in herself. She hadn’t told her mother her secret and she didn’t stand up for herself. But when she saw Lena coming in she was almost certain that her holidays had been worse.

“Hey, how bad was it?” Alex asked with a smile.

Lena’s eyes lit up when she saw Alex, she instantly dropped her bag and Alex was already on her way over wrapping her in a hug.

“I missed you,” Lena mumbled. “But it was mostly okay. I barely saw my mother and I had some time to study.”

“Do you want to watch a movie and order some greasy food. I know you probably didn’t get anything unhealthy at home.”

Lena’s eyes lit up even more, “You truly are a saint.”

 

They were sitting next to each other on Alex’s bed. An old action movie was playing and empty pizza cartons sat in front of them. Alex looked down at Lena, who had leaned her head against the redhead’s shoulder. She looked happy in her baggy clothes, her hair up in a messy bun. It had taken her a long time before Lena had been comfortable around Alex looking like this. Alex knew it was Lillian’s fault. This woman absolutely wouldn’t approve of unwashed hair. So Alex made sure to compliment Lena whenever she looked naturally beautiful like right now.

Lena scooted a bit closer and they both thought the same thing: Comfy clothes were better for cuddling anyway.

 

 

It was one of those mornings, Alex was sitting in AP Science, almost asleep and Lena next to her taking notes. After the first few weeks Alex had always kept a seat free next to her and Lena was very touched by that. At the front the professor was talking about a group project and Lena was internally groaning. She hated group projects.

Next to her Alex was already planning a topic with Winn. Lena almost sighed out loud. Now she had to do it alone again. Not that it was different from all the times in high school where she had to do the work alone.

“Lena? What are you saying?” Alex suddenly asked.

“To what?”

“Artificial organ replacements as a topic for the project?”

Lena looked at her with big eyes and a questioning look.

“I just assumed you wanted to be in a group with us, but you obviously don’t have to.”

“No! I mean yes, I want to be in a group with you and the topic sounds interesting.”

At that Alex smiled and turned back to Winn. Lena stared at her for a second. How could such a simple gesture make her heart flutter? Alex had thought of her. She’d considered her as a partner for a group project without her even asking. Lena had to smile at that. Maybe one day she’d get used to it, but probably not.

They agreed to meet up at the library in the afternoon and Lena used all of her free period to work on the project. She obviously didn’t want to disappoint her teammates.   
In the afternoon, Winn was the first to arrive.

“Oh wow, you already started,” he said as he sat down.

“Uhm yeah I had some time.”

Winn started to unpack his things and Lena fidgeted with her hands. She’d never been alone with him, so she didn’t really know what to talk about.

“Is it okay for you to be in a group with me? Because I don’t have to work with you if you don’t want to,” she said, but was secretly hoping she could stay.

“Alex said you’re really smart so why would it be a problem?” he smiled at her and Lena let out a relived sigh.

It was silent for a second and Lena was already thinking hard about small talk she could make, but then Alex arrived and she was saved from it.

It was a new experience for Lena to work on a project in a team where she didn’t have to do all the work. It was refreshing. Also Winn was really smarter than she’d given him credit for.

They worked for two hours and almost finished it completely. Alex had already left and Lena was still packing her things.

“Hey, if you ever want to check out our physics club, we could need someone as smart as you,” Winn said with a smile and gave her a piece of paper. “That’s my number. I swear I’m not making a move at you!”

Lena chuckled at that and thanked him. She went back to her dorm with a smile on her face. She’d managed to make a friend! At least she thought they were probably friends. If not then at least she’d practiced human interaction. For the rest of the day she walked around with a huge smile plastered on her face.   
Alex noticed it, but didn’t say anything, she only smiled to herself.

 

She was in her bed, back rested against the wall, a book in her lap. She could feel Alex hugging her from the side, a hand slowly caressing her back.

“You’re so smart,” Alex whispered as she stroked Lena’s hair.

The brunette leaned into the touch, Alex continued whispering. They slowly laid down, Alex on top, cupping Lena’s face with her hand. Lena could see her smile before she leaned in. Their lips were touching so softly she almost missed it. Alex’s hand roamed over her body, unbuttoning her shirt. Her hands exploring her chest. 

“And so beautiful,” Alex whispered against her lips. Lena softly moaned and leaned in for another long kiss when she was hit in the face by a pillow.

“Hey wake up, you’re late for class.”

Lena opened her eyes. Alex was standing at her desk, packing some books into her bag. Then she quickly waved at Lena and went out of the door.

Lena let out a shaky breath. Her body felt too hot at the moment. Her cheeks were burning. Her heart was racing. Did she say something stupid in her sleep? Did she moan or anything that could hint at what she was dreaming?

She quickly made her way to the bathroom. Her brain was just confused because Alex was so nice to her and they were spending so much time together. She just needed a cold shower and hopefully the water would wash away her stupid feelings.

(Obviously, it didn’t.)

 

Lena had a tough day at work, so until she entered the dorm that night, the dream was almost forgotten. Her roommate was lying on the bed, feet up on the wall and talking to someone on the phone.   
The redhead looked up and gave Lena a quick wave. As their eyes met, Lena’s body began to feel warm again and her cheeks started to blush. She quickly looked away and tried to shove her memories deep down inside her.

“Yes, of course,” Alex said into the phone and sighed.

“Okay, Mom, I gotta go. See you soon.” with that she hung up and let out another groan.

“Your sister calls me almost every week,” Alex said, mocking her mother’s voice, “you could call more often.”

“She cares for you. And she is interested in your life.”

“I know,” Alex sighed. Now she felt bad, because Lena was right. At least she had parents, who cared about her.

“I put up some Christmas lights in case you didn’t see,” Alex said and pointed at a single chain of lights near the window.

“That looks pathetic,” she laughed.

“Hey! That was the best I could do.”

Lena continued laughing while Alex threw every pillow at her that she could find.  
The brunette continued smiling after Alex went in the bathroom to take a shower. Her smile just wouldn’t go away.

 

By now Kara was used to Lena being around her sister. But still, every time she had to knock on their door, she was a little nervous. Her sister did fight with Lena pretty often in the past.

When Lena opened the door with a smile, her nervousness vanished instantly.

“Alex is still in the shower. Do you want to come in?”

Kara smiled, walked in and hopped onto Alex’s bed.

“Hey, I took that!” Kara squealed and got up to pick up the picture from Lena’s nightstand. “You both look so cute in this.”

Lena could feel her cheeks blush. Before she had the chance to say anything, Kara continued her ramble.

“It is so hard to take a decent photo of Alex. She hates it. When I first came to live with the Danvers Eliza tried taking a family picture, but Alex would run away every single time.”

Kara chuckled to herself and Lena was a little lost.

“Uhm… if you don’t mind me asking-“ Lena stopped herself, not quite knowing what to ask.

“Alex never told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Well, I lost my parents when I was really young so Alex’s family adopted me. That’s also why she is so overprotective all the time.”

The shock was written all over Lena’s face.

“Oh god, Kara, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, really. It was a long time ago.”

Kara leaned in to give Lena a quick hug. The brunette looked as if she was about to cry. In that moment Alex stepped out of the bathroom.

“Everything okay here?”

Alex eyed them with a grin. When she saw Kara’s happy nod she went over to join their group hug.

“It’s easy to make Lena sad,” the blonde said. “Which absolutely wasn’t my intention I just realized it now.”

Lena chuckled and Alex sighed and shook her head.

They sat like that for a few more seconds, before untangling their arms.

“Okay, you guys have fun.”

“Where are you going?”

Lena just winked and went out of the door. Alex looked after her, a little confused until Kara broke her line of thought by asking what movie they wanted to watch.

 

 

“Why does our room look as if Pinterest threw up in here?” Alex asked when she entered her dorm. 

Apparently, Lena had used her morning to decorate their room with a bunch of Christmas lights, candles and other decoration. It was a little overwhelming, so many things in such a small room, but Lena seemed proud with her work so Alex smiled.

“Well, you gave me the idea the other day and at home we never had much decoration, only for appearance. And now I realised that I can decorate this the way I want to.”   
Then she lowered her head and started fidgeting with her hands, “I hope this is okay. If not I can absolutely put it down and maybe bring it back or-“

Alex placed her hands on top of Lena’s to make them stop shaking.

“I think it’s really beautiful and I want to keep it, okay?” she said with a soft voice. Lena blushed slightly and smiled.

“But seriously, you realised now that you can decorate your room? After months of me telling you that your side looks too empty?”

Lena laughed and blushed again.

“And you call yourself clever.”

“I never said that, everyone else just seems to think it,” she chuckled and playfully shoved Alex. Alex shoved her back and somehow they ended up rolling on Lena’s bed in laughter. 

Lena pushed the hair out of her face and looked down to see that Alex’s face was very close to her own. The redhead had her lips spread into a smile, breathing heavily, her eyes were sparkling. 

Lena gulped as she tried to get her heart back under control. What would it mean if she leaned in and kissed Alex just now? Would Alex kiss her back? 

Lena felt drawn to her lips. She caught herself leaning in a bit, but then Alex got up from the floor and the moment had passed. 

It was probably better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think!  
> I'm slowly getting in the Christmas mood, so prepare for Christmasy chapters ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first Christmas chapter is here! Enjoy!

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually going to miss you.”

Lena chuckled a bit, “I’ll miss you, too.”

They were both in their room, packing to leave for Christmas vacation. While Lena was neatly folding her clothes, Alex was basically just throwing them into her bag. The brunette had to grin at that.  
There were a million things that sounded more appealing than spending Christmas at the Luthor household, but maybe thinking about Alex would somehow make it easier for Lena. She smiled at the redhead, who was adjusting her beanie and then went to give Lena a short hug.

With that she said Goodbye to Lena and was out of the door.

Lena sighed again and continued packing. She looked over to her bed to see what else was missing. Only now she saw that Alex had put something there. It was a blue hoodie, the one Lena always borrowed, along with a note.

_I know it’s not a real present, but it will keep you warm until we see each other again.  
Love, Alex_

Lena started grinning like a Cheshire cat. She picked the hoodie up and buried her nose in it and let out a happy sigh. Maybe surviving two weeks with Lillian would actually be possible.

 

Alex had put her bags into the car and waited an eternity for Kara to finish packing and saying goodbye to all her friends (as if she hadn’t seen them the day before). They were finally ready to go and hadn’t even pulled out of the parking lot when Alex realized that she’d forgotten the presents she hid under the bed. She quickly parked again and ran back up to their room.

“You’re still here?” she asked, surprised to see Lena.

“Oh uhm… yeah I have a few more minutes,” she mumbled.

“Are you unpacking?”

Lena stopped in her action. She had started packing the neatly folded clothes back into the closet.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked again, now in a softer voice.

“My mother called. She has different plans for the holiday now. She said I should stay here and not bother anyone,” Lena said in a calm voice. It didn’t even bother her anymore. She was used to it.

Alex was speechless for a second until she’d collected her thoughts.  
“What a bitch.”

This raised a tiny smile on Lena’s face.

Alex chuckled for a second and then went to Lena’s closet to pack the clothes back into Lena’s bag. Most of her things were still in it.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing your bag. Do you need anything else?”

“I don’t think so. Why? What are you doing?”

But Alex wasn’t listening. She’d already taken Lena’s bag over her shoulder.

“You’re coming home with me. There is no chance I’m going to leave you here alone.”  
She was already out in the hallway when she added, “but only if that is okay with you.”

“I really don’t want to impose.”

Alex looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, but only if you call your parents and ask them if it’s okay that I come with you.”

Alex agreed with a smile.

“Come on, I left Kara in the car with the snacks so we have to hurry.”

 

“Hey Lena, are you coming with us?” Kara asked excited when Lena climbed into the backseat. Lena nodded and Kara instantly offered her some crackers.

“That’s so cool! Maybe then Alex is less grumpy all the time.”

“I’m not grumpy!”

“Yes, you are! Especially around holidays.”

Alex groaned and quickly changed the topic. “Can you call mom for me?”

Kara quickly ate a few more crackers before she dialled the number.

“Hey Eliza, this is probably a bit on short notice, but Alex asks if she can bring someone home for Christmas?” Kara eyed Alex from the side. “No, not a boyfriend, just a friend.”

Alex winced a little. She’d forgotten that they still needed to have this talk.

“She’d nowhere else to go.”

Lena fidgeted with her hands in the backseat. She tried really hard not to listen. But it was the truth after all.

“Okay see you in a few hours. Love you, too.”

She ended the call and turned around to Lena. 

“No problem, Eliza is happy to meet you,” she smiled and Lena nervously smiled back. “Great, can I get back to my crackers now?” Kara asked.

“I have cookies in my bag if you want some,” Lena suggested, and Kara instantly squealed loudly. The brunette smiled and reached for her bag.

“Sam gave them to me. Said she made them herself.”

“Sam made you cookies?” Alex asked. She was surprised how weird her own voice suddenly sounded. Lena had told her multiple times that Sam was just a friend, but Alex couldn’t get over it.

“Uhm yeah, she said she made more than she could possibly eat so she gave me some.” Lena was eying Alex suspiciously from the backseat. So she had noticed Alex’s weird reaction.

“They’re really good!” Kara said with her mouth full of cookies.

“Can we turn up the music now?” Alex asked, trying to change the topic. Kara laughed and did exactly that.

 

 

Lena woke up when the car stopped. They parked in front of a big house where a blonde woman was waiting at the door. Lena got out of the car. It was colder than expected. At least now she was awake again. She took her bag from the trunk and went after Alex and Kara, who were both involved in a big family hug. Lena stood behind them and waited for them to finish.

“And you must be Lena!” Eliza said with a soft smile.

“Yes, I’m Lena Luthor,” she said, waiting for the recognition and the disgust, but the only thing she got was a soft hug.

“I’m Eliza, come in, I’ll make some hot cocoa.”

Lena was too shocked and overwhelmed to move, so she let Alex softly push her inside. She followed them upstairs and Alex led her to her room. 

“I guess we’re already practiced in being roommates, but if you want to get rid of me for the week Kara’s room is just down the hall.”

“Oh no, I like being with you. I mean in a room. I mean you’re a good roommate. Now.”

Alex let out a loud laughter. She was about to leave the room to get downstairs, but Lena held her back.

“Uhm… just one question: Does your mother not have internet, or a TV or reads the newspaper?”  
“What do you mean?”

Lena started fidgeting with her hands again. She could practically feel Lillian scolding her for it and instantly stopped.

“I mean she didn’t even flinch when she heard my last name. And she still gave me a hug.”

“I told her you’re a good person and that you may need someone who doesn’t judge you for no reason, like I did.”

Lena opened her mouth and shut it again a few seconds later.

“Wait, when did you tell her?”

Now Alex started to blush.

“On the phone… when you were asleep in the car. Which was a really lucky coincidence by the way or the greeting here would’ve been a little colder, I guess. I’m sorry, it isn’t my mum’s fault. She knows about your family and also I told her that I didn’t get along with my roommate the first few weeks and now I just had to convince her that I was wrong.”

Lena let her finish before she wordlessly pulled her arms around Alex and hugged her tight. Alex took a moment to appreciate the fact that Lena was now comfortable enough to hug her without her hugging Lena first. Then she pat Lena’s back, “you ready to go downstairs?”

Lena nodded and they went down where hot cocoa and still warm cookies were waiting for them.

 

“I forgot to say this before,” Lena turned towards Eliza, “but thank you for letting me stay here. That is really nice of you.”

Eliza just smiled and pushed the plate with cookies towards her.

“It is so warm here,” Lena said more to herself.

“Oh, I can turn the temperature down.”

Lena looked up at Eliza with a confused look on her face before she got it.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” she said and blushed. “I meant it’s warm and friendly and Christmas-y. I’m not used to that, but I really like it.”

Eliza’s heart broke just a little as she listened to Lena. She gave her a sad smile before she stood up to give Lena a warm hug.

“You’re always welcome here, Lena.”

As Alex watched her mother and Lena interact, she just had to smile. This was the love Lena deserved so much. Even after Eliza had let her go and sat back down, Lena was till wearing a huge smile on her face.

“Tomorrow you can all help me with the rest of the decorations and we still need to prepare the food.”

“Can’t we relax for one day before you start giving us work?”

“Christmas isn’t relaxing, you should know that.”

Alex groaned and Lena chuckled. For the rest of their meal it was mostly Kara talking about everything new. Eliza showed interest in everything she said, a skill which Alex found fascinating.

After their long trip they were very tired so Eliza sent them to bed early.

 

It took some discussion until Lena finally accepted to take the bed, and Alex took the air mattress next to it.

For one moment Lena thought that it was sad that Alex hadn’t slept in this bed for months, so it only smelled like washing powder and not like Alex. She quickly neglected this thought, because even in her head it sounded a little creepy.

 

 

“I see you found my present,” Alex said when she stepped into the kitchen the next morning. Lena was already sitting at the table, reading a book and wearing Alex’s hoodie.

The brunette blushed a little and pressed the hoodie closer to her chest.

“It was really thoughtful of you,” she smiled back.

Alex crossed the kitchen counter and made herself some coffee.

“What are you reading?” she asked as she sat down again. “Oh nope, books for college or else are not allowed in this house on Christmas.” she said as she saw the title. She quickly snatched it out of Lena’s hands and ran away.

Lena looked after her for a second before she got up and quickly sprinted after Alex. The redhead laughed while running circles around the table until she tripped and Lena ran right into her. They both got knocked down and Alex could barely breathe through all of her laughing.

“Are you hurt?” Alex asked when her breathing was almost back to normal.

“Just my ego,” she snorted. “Can I have the book back now?”

“You can have it back after Christmas.”

Alex got up and held out one hand for Lena to help her up. Then they got into the kitchen to make some breakfast for everyone.

 

After breakfast Eliza told them where she needed help. She told Lena that she could relax, but the young Luthor wanted to help.

“Whatever you do, don’t let Lena near the decorations,” Alex said and Lena nudged her with an angry “Hey!”

“Seriously mom, you should see our dorm. I burned my retina when I first looked at it.”

“It’s really not that bad,” Lena mumbled. Alex saw the shift in her mood and went to pat her shoulder.

“I really appreciate you making an effort, but you can’t be good at anything.”

Lena simply rolled her eyes and nodded.

Eliza followed their conversation with a smile and decided to let them bake instead of decorating the house.

In the end it was only Alex and Lena throwing flour at each other while Kara was making the cookies. When Lena tried to fit the baking tray into the oven she accidentally touched it and burned her hand. Out of shock she dropped the tray.

“Everything okay?” Alex immediately ran over. She saw how Lena’s hand turned a certain shade of red and instantly pulled her with her to hold it under cold water.

“Does it hurt?” Alex asked concerned.

“Just a little. Sorry for dropping the cookies, I’ll make new ones,” she said with a small voice.

“No problem,” Kara said and went to put what was left into the oven. Then she wiped the rest up from the floor, while Lena told her a million times that she’d do it.

“I’m really sorry-“ Lena started again.

Alex just sighed, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Things like this happen. Wanna help us clean up and then we can watch a movie?”

Lena agreed and they started to clean the kitchen, which was completely covered in flour somehow.

 

Later Alex was in her room, looking through some old stuff she’d found. Lena was in the bathroom and Alex was waiting for her to finish up, when Kara came in.

“I found the shirt you were looking for,” she announced happily, but when she saw Alex face, her smile dropped.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking… about Lena and other stuff.”

“Well, I think you two would make a great couple, you’re both pretty and like science.”

“What?” Alex snapped. “I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking about that! Why is everyone asking if we’re together?” she groaned and dropped onto her bed.

“Because sometimes it looks like you two really like each other,” Kara said and sat down next to her sister.

“I don’t like her like that. And even if I did… I don’t think I’d be ready for a relationship with a woman.” Her fingers fumbled with her watch so they had something to do, while she was thinking hard about how to put her thoughts into words.

“All of my friends… what if I lose them, because of this?”

“If you lose your friends because you’re being you than they aren’t real friends.”

“I know, you always say that, but that doesn’t make it easier.”

“I’m here for you. Whatever happens. And I bet Lena will be, too.”

“What about me?” Lena asked as she entered the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel.

“We’re just talking Christmas presents. So you have to wait to find out,” Kara said with a wink and Alex was impressed how quick she came up with this. But after all her sister was right. Lucy said it was okay to be gay, and she’d always have Kara and maybe Lena in her life, so what could go wrong?

 

It was late at night. Lena could see that Alex was sitting outside and she wasn’t sure if it was okay to interrupt her in her thoughts. She kept starring at Alex a few more minutes before she decided to go outside.

“Is it okay if I join you?” Lena softly asked. “I made some tea.”

Alex smiled at her and lifted the blanket so Lena could sit next to her.

“I wanted to make hot cocoa, but also I didn’t want to burn down your kitchen.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one to do that,” Alex chuckled.

They were sitting in silence. Every now and then they would take a sip of tea. It wasn’t as cold as Lena thought it would be on the terrace, under the blanket.  
Somehow it was so silent, so peaceful and Lena felt herself falling a little in love with this place.

“I used to look at the stars with my dad. We would stay up all night, sitting outside. He would explain the constellations to me. Those were my favourite nights.” Alex had broken the silence and Lena slowly looked over to her.

“What happened to your dad?” she asked carefully.

“He disappeared. Not like he left us behind, he worked for the government and he didn’t come home from his last mission. It was a long time ago, but sometimes I still find myself waiting for him to come home.”

Lena’s hand found Alex’s under the blanket and she softly squeezed it. The redhead looked at her with teary eyes and smiled softly.  
Lena new she didn’t need to say that she was sorry. Somehow Alex could understand her without words.

They sat like that for a while, until it was getting a little cold so Lena scooted a little closer. She leaned her head on Alex’s shoulder and looked out at the ocean, while Alex looked up at the sky.

“Maybe we should go back inside. It’s late,” Alex said and Lena nodded.

But somehow they had managed to get tangled in the blanket. When Lena tried to get up she stumbled back down and her head bumped against Alex’s.  
The redhead just let out a loud laughter.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Lena pressed a hand against her head so Alex put her own hand on top of it, while still grinning widely.

Lena was lying half on top of Alex. Her eyes flicked down to Alex’s lips and back up. 

“I’m fine,” she whispered. Alex’s hand slowly left the position on her head and stopped in Lena’s neck. The brunette smiled and leaned in closer. Her heart was beating faster and faster. She could see that Alex was leaning in.

“There you are!” Kara exclaimed and the two of them instantly jumped as far away from another as possible.

“I thought I was the only one up so late, but you weren’t in your room so I decided to look out here.”

“Yeah, we just wanted to go inside,” Alex said and Lena got up to carry the empty mugs inside. Kara didn’t look like she realised what was going on. It was probably better that way. 

Alex didn’t know what was going on herself. She thought of Lena as a really good friend, but somehow found herself wanting to kiss her again and again. Sometimes she would look at her and get lost in her smile and she’d feel warmer in her presence, but that was normal, right? That’s how good friends felt about each other… right?

She brushed her teeth for almost ten minutes, while trying to make sense of it all.

 

Lena woke up in the middle of the night, because she felt the mattress shift a little. She could feel someone lying down next to her, or rather on top of her. Her heart beat quickened and she was ready to fight back when she realised that it was Alex. The redhead placed her head on Lena’s chest and threw her arm around her midsection. All still with her eyes closed.

“What are you doing, Alex?”

“Protecting you,” came the muffled reply.

“From what?”

“The cold.”

A small grin spread on Lena’s face. She decided to ignore her racing heart and scooted closer to Alex to let the warm hug send her back to sleep.

Shen knew this was wrong, but it felt so good. She was in way to deep by now, like head over heels with butterflies and blushing and all the feelings… but she knew Alex didn’t feel the same way about her. She probably never would. Lena didn’t want to take advantage of her friend like that, but she couldn’t get herself to move away from her. 

So maybe she could enjoy the feeling of warmth and home. 

Just for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you sick of the slow burn yet? I hope not.  
> I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back & Happy Holidays!  
> I know for some people out there the holidays are a tough time. If you need someone to talk to (about anything), you can DM me on Twitter: @queergirlelle

When Lena woke up the next morning, Alex was gone. Maybe it was only a dream that she and Alex had been cuddling?  
But as she stepped into the kitchen, she saw the redhead blush furiously. Lena smiled to herself. So it hadn’t been a dream.

“Good Morning,” the redhead mumbled and took a huge sip from her coffee.

“Hey Lena, Alex and I want to go to the mall later to get the last few things for tomorrow. You want to join us?”

“I’d rather stay here and do some stuff for college.” At the rise of Alex’s eyebrow and Kara’s shocked face, she continued. “I feel like I need to get some work done, otherwise it’ll be all I think about the next few days.”

“Okay, you’re _allowed_ to use a book for college, but only today.”

“How generous of you.”

Lena laughed as she said it and Alex felt relieved. For a quick second she thought pressuring Lena into things she didn’t want to do wasn’t the best idea. She didn’t want to act like Lena’s mother after all.

After breakfast, Lena made her way back up to Alex’s room to get some work done. She sat down at the desk and was only slightly distracted by the pictures of young Alex and Kara. Good to know that Alex had always been beautiful, Lena thought and smiled to herself.

In the meantime, Alex and Kara were running through the whole town, because Alex had promised herself that she would find the perfect present for Lena. Her initial plan with the hoodie had worked well, but now that Lena would actually celebrate Christmas with them, she deserved a real present.

 

A few hours later, when Lena heard the front door open again, she decided to finish up her work. When she walked downstairs, she could hear singing in the kitchen. She walked around the corner and stopped in the doorway. Alex was dancing around the kitchen, putting the groceries away, while singing a Christmas song. After a while Kara joined in on it and they screamed loudly, while using candy canes as microphones. Lena had to admit that in between all the joking around, it didn’t sound that bad.   
When Alex spotted her, the redhead blushed a little but continued singing. Then she held the candy cane to Lena’s face, encouraging her to sing.

“Definitely not.”

“Oh come on, please.”

Lena was sure that no one could resist this pout.

“I don’t know the lyrics,” she admitted.

Alex began singing some other songs until she found one that Lena knew. The brunette softly began to sing along, so quietly, the others almost didn’t hear it. Alex’s smile encouraged Lena a little more and she let the redhead spin her around in a circle. Their dancing would’ve been cute if Lena didn’t step on Alex’s feet all the time. Kara simply cackled in the corner at the sight and Lena blushed a deep red.   
Suddenly Alex pulled her close and they swayed on the spot, which was much easier for Lena. Alex was still singing and Lena had to smile. 

She could neither sing nor dance, but she would do it every single day of her life if it meant that Alex would smile at her like that.

 

 

“These college boys all just want the one thing. I went on a few dates but there wasn’t anyone who I would want to meet again.”

Kara smiled and sipped on her tea. She’d been telling Eliza about every single dating experience in detail and Alex was tired of listening. She was walking around the kitchen, trying to act inconspicuously. For the past day, she’d tried to avoid questions about boyfriends and dating.   
Eventually, she’d need to tell her mother and by the looks of it, it needed to be soon. Tomorrow was Christmas after all and Alex rather had this thing out of her mind beforehand.

Kara looked up and saw Alex’s concerned face. She gave her sister an encouraging smile.  
Alex nodded slightly. Now or never.

Kara seemed to get it, so she got up and walked to Lena who had just entered the kitchen. 

“Hey Lena, can you come up with me to the attic? I’m sure we have some mistletoes up there.”

The brunette startled and raised her eyebrow.

“I meant I want to put them up. So no funny business, I promise.”

Lena chuckled when she saw the blonde blush and let Kara drag her upstairs.

 

Alex looked after them for a second, then she took a deep breath and sat down at the kitchen table next to her mother.

“Mom, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Is everything alright, sweetie? You look a little pale.”

Alex nervously smiled and tried to calm down her racing heart. Her mother looked genuinely concerned and Alex was afraid to change their mother-daughter relationship forever.

“Yeah, everything is fine, I guess,” she gulped again. Her mouth was dry. “There is something you should know… about me.”

Her mother nodded. Her forehead still crinkled in confusion.

“I haven’t been dating lately, because I don’t want a boyfriend, because I don’t like boys,” she got out quickly before her courage could let her down. “I like girls.”

It was quiet for a second where neither of them said anything.

“Are you sure?” Eliza asked. Her face told nothing about her feelings.

“It’s not just some phase, mom,” Alex groaned.

“Okay, I was simply asking. You’re still young and…” she trailed of and slightly shook her head. Then she placed her hand on top of her daughter’s.

“It’s alright, you know? You can like whoever you want.”

Alex nodded, her eyes were watery, but she’d sworn herself she wouldn’t cry.

“Oh my sweet girl, why were you so afraid of telling me?” Eliza asked and pulled Alex in for a tight hug.

“I didn’t want to let you down,” Alex whispered into her neck.

“You could never let me down, sweetie. I love you so much.”

That did it for Alex and tears started streaming down her face. But they were tears of happiness, tears of relieve.

She took a second to wipe her tears away and waited for her heart to slow down, while her mother made them some more tea.

When Eliza put the two mugs down on the table, she was smiling at Alex. The redhead couldn’t believe that it went so well.

“So you did bring a girlfriend home for Christmas,” Eliza started again. “I should’ve known that. I’m so happy for you, Alex.”

“Oh no, uhm… Lena isn’t my girlfriend. She’s really just a friend.” A blush spread on Alex’s cheeks.   
Eliza opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something more, but then just smiled and answered with a simple ‘okay’.

 

While Eliza was getting some cookies for them, Alex sipped on her tea and tried to contain the happiness that spread in her chest. She said a soft “You can come back down” and a few seconds later she could hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

“I could’ve sworn there is a carton somewhere up there,” Kara said when she hopped down the last few steps.

Then she walked over to give Alex a big hug. 

“I told you to not listen in,” Alex said quietly and Kara just shrugged.

Lena watched them with a smile on her face.

“Come here, you get a hug as well,” Alex said and pulled her into their group hug. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Now she was ready to enjoy the holidays without having to think about this anymore.

 

 

Alex entered the bedroom, stopped and watched Lena. She was lost in her writing. It took her almost a minute before she looked up at Alex.

“What?” she asked and Alex smiled.

“You still write in your diary every day?”

“Not every day. Just when I feel like it.”

Alex walked over and sat down on the bed next to Lena. The brunette instantly closed the notebook.

“What? Am I not allowed to read it?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why? Do you write about me?”

“No,” Lena said, but her cheeks blushed and she looked down. Alex let out a loud laughter.

“I knew it! Come on tell me. What’s so interesting about me?”

“I’m not telling you.”

Alex scooted closer and wobbled with her lower lip. She couldn’t do the puppy eyes as well as Kara, but she hoped it would work anyway. The only thing she got was Lena patting her head for a few seconds, before the brunette quickly got away with her diary.

Alex rolled her eyes and laid down on the air mattress. She didn’t have to wait long before Lena came back, got into bed and wished her a goodnight. 

 

A while later, Alex was wandering around the house because she couldn’t sleep. Lena had been asleep after a few minutes and Alex thought her soft breathing would lull her into sleep soon as well. But there were just too many things going on in her mind that she couldn’t find rest. She was excited for tomorrow. Not only because it was Christmas, but also because she got to spend it with Lena.

On the way to the bathroom she bumped into her mom. Eliza gave her a tired smile and told her daughter Goodnight.

In that moment Alex decided to get at least one of the things out of her head.

“Hey mom,” Alex asked and her mother turned around once again. “You didn’t seem to have a problem with me possibly dating Lena.”

Eliza gave her a warm smile. “You’re a good judge of character and she seems like a nice girl, so why would I have a problem with it?”

Alex sighed, “I love you, mom.”

Eliza smiled, walked over to place a kiss on her daughter’s head and then went upstairs to go to bed.

 

 

Alex woke up with a smile on her face. It was Christmas morning, but that wasn’t the main reason she had to smile. Once again she had somehow migrated into Lena’s bed –or well, her own bed- in the middle of the night. She hoped this was okay and that she wasn’t overstepping any line, but Lena was pressed close to her, so it seemed to be just fine.

Alex softly nuzzled her face into Lena’s neck. “Lena? Wake up, it’s Christmas,” she whispered. The brunette only scrunched up her nose and continued to sleep.

Alex chuckled softly.

“You look really cute and all, but it’s Christmas so we’re getting up now,” Alex declared, got up and took the blanket with her.

“You’re so mean,” Lena pouted, but then slowly got up. She went over to her bag to pull some clothes out, but Alex stopped her.   
“On Christmas we wear out pyjamas the whole day.”

“You just made that up.”

Alex grinned, took Lena by the hand and dragged her downstairs. The brunette almost stumbled over her own feet as she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. In the living room, Kara was sitting on the floor (in her pyjamas), sorting the presents under the Christmas tree.

Lena sat down on the couch and gladly accepted a hot chocolate, Eliza gave her, while Alex and Kara were bickering about the presents.

“First of all, this is for you from both of us,” Kara said and handed Lena a carefully wrapped package.

“Oh, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Just open it.” Alex smiled at her and handed Kara a present that had the same shape.

Lena carefully opened the present. “What is this? A costume?” she asked and slowly pulled out the layers of blue fabric.

“It’s a onesie!” Kara announced happily. “Alex and I got matching ones!”

“Come on, put it on!” Alex said, one foot already in hers.

“Is this supposed to be a unicorn?” Lena asked, squishing the golden horn on top of her head.

“Aw look how cute you are!” Alex exclaimed.

“And why are you a giraffe?”

“Because this was the only remotely cool animal,” she answered and pulled the hood on.

“You’re definitely not cooler than me,” Kara declared in her bunny costume. What followed was a long discussion about whether or not a bunny costume was fitting for this time of the year, during which Lena rolled over the floor in laughter.

“You fighting in these ridiculous onesies is the best thing ever,” she cackled and wiped a few tears away.

Eliza watched the girls mostly in silence, a big smile plastered on her face.  
“I have to agree with Lena. I just can’t take the two of you serious.”

Kara pouted, the hood slipping over her face, which made Lena laugh even harder.

Eliza took her phone out to take some pictures of the girls, mumbling something about a photo album. Lena scooted a little to the right to escape the picture.

“No sweetie, stay here. You make the picture complete,” Eliza said to Lena while still laughing.  
Lena couldn’t help but give a big smile towards the camera. This was the most ridiculous and best Christmas gift she’d ever received.

After a while, when they’d finally calmed down enough, they continued to unwrap presents.

“I got something for you. Just a small thing, but I thought you might like it.”

Alex threw Lena the biggest grin as she accepted the gift. She carefully unwrapped the small package, other than all of her other presents.

“Aww this is perfect!” Alex said as she held the green beanie in her hands. She slipped her hood off to put it on and flashed a big smile at Lena.

“It suits you.”

Alex scooted over to hug Lena and when she let go again, she remained in that position close to her.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any presents for you and Kara,” Lena said to Eliza. She was feeling a little uncomfortable because she hadn’t thought about getting them anything until now. The Luthor’s hadn’t been into presents at all and if there was one, it needed to be practical.   
“Please just tell me anything you’d like and I can give it to you on spring break or send it whenever.”

“You don’t need to give us any presents, dear,” Eliza said and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s great enough that you’re here with- Oh my gosh! Alex, look at that!” Kara exclaimed and Alex had to turn her attention away from the brunette. “It’s a pillow shaped like a donut!”

“That looks like a bad idea. You’ll probably suffocate in your sleep, cause you’re trying to eat it.”

Kara playfully hit her sister with the donut pillow, while Alex used Lena as her human protection shield.

 

After they’d unpacked all presents and cleaned the floor from paper and everything else, they all ate some breakfast and later settled in front of the TV to watch a Christmas movie. As far as Lena knew this was one of the many Danvers family traditions.

“And before you start fighting over which movie to watch, I’d say we let our guest choose,” Eliza suggested and settled down in the huge armchair.

“I don’t know that many Christmas movies, you can choose one.” The brunette shrugged and blushed a little. Alex smiled at her. She was a hundred percent sure that the Luthor’s didn’t watch Christmas movies all together. Or any movies in general.

“Good thing that we have all day to educate you. The best Christmas movie of all time is definitely Die Hard.”

“Hey, I’ve seen that!” Lena said at the same moment Kara said “That’s not a Christmas movie!” 

What followed, again, was the two sisters bickering until they decided for ‘Christmas with the Kranks’, because according to Alex it’s “a classic that is not gross and full of sob stuff.”

The movie was playing in the background, while all that Lena could think about was that she never had a better Christmas and she never had anything that felt more like family than this morning right here. She leaned further back, softly placing her head under Alex’s chin, smiling as the redhead hugged her from behind. Now she knew what being loved felt like.

This definitely was the best Christmas ever.

 

 

In the evening they all went for a walk around the neighbourhood, which was more or less to make room in their stomachs for more food.

“That’s what I hate about winter. It’s not even five and already dark.” Lena thought out loud as they were walking around on the almost empty streets.

“But if it was bright all these Christmas decorations wouldn’t make that much sense.”

Lena agreed and chuckled softly.   
“But it’s a shame that you don’t have snow around here.”

“White Christmases aren’t that common. It’s just because all of these Christmas movies give you a false impression of the weather, that you think something is missing.”

“Smartass,” Lena snickered. Alex looked at her fake-offended until they both broke into laughter. The redhead grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her along to a spot from which they could see the ocean.

“Do you think they realise how they’re acting around each other?” Kara asked Eliza. They were both walking a few meters behind Alex and Lena, observing their behaviour.

“Honey, I think you could shove them under the mistletoe and they still wouldn’t notice.”

 

 

They were sitting on the floor, in front of the fireplace in silence. Tired and stuffed to the top after the delicious meal Eliza had cooked them.  
Lena was leaning against Alex, who had pulled an arm around the brunette. They were both absentmindedly starring into the flames. The whole day they hadn’t left each other’s sides without even realising it.

“Thank you, Alex.” Lena’s whisper broke the silence.

Alex just curiously raised her brow.

“For giving me the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

“You can come next year as well! And to Thanksgiving! Whenever you feel like you need it.” Alex pulled Lena closer into her arms. Her nose buried in Lena’s hair she could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo.

“I totally don’t want to interrupt you guys, but you should look up,” Kara called from the kitchen.

Alex already knew what Kara had done before she looked up.

“That sneaky little bitch,” she mumbled, and Lena nervously laughed at the mistletoe over their heads. She was still in Alex’s arms and blushing furiously.

“We don’t have to. Just if you want,” Alex said, now blushing herself. 

“We could, if you like?” Lena could only hear the blood rushing through her veins and her cheeks couldn’t get any redder.

“I’d want to kiss you if that’s okay,” Alex whispered softly.

Lena’s smiled got even wider and she slowly leaned in until their warm lips connected. Alex tasted like cinnamon and coffee and Lena simply loved it. Both their heartbeats were racing and just as Lena wanted to pull away Alex leaned in closer and deepened the kiss. There was something intoxicating about Lena that she couldn’t quite explain. When they finally broke apart to catch their breaths, they were both smiling. Their cheeks reddened and warm.

“Merry Christmas, Lena,” Alex whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Alex.”

And then she leaned back in, pulled Alex as close as she could and kissed her again with all that she could give.

 

 

This time Alex didn’t even bother to use the air mattress. She got into bed with Lena and cuddled her from behind.

“Is this okay?” she whispered.

Instead of an answer Lena turned around and softly placed a kiss on top of Alex’s head. She was smiling at her before she turned around again, slowly falling asleep. And she’d never slept that well in her whole life.

 

 

Alex woke up because a phone was ringing. Next to her Lena untangled her legs form Alex’s, shoved the blanket away to get to her phone and answer the call.

The redhead instantly missed the warmth. She was still tired, but tried to follow the conversation.

“Does it have to be today already?” Lena asked and quietly sighed.

“Of course, mother.” Lena let the phone fall back down onto the bed.

“I bet she wasn’t calling to wish you Merry Christmas?” Alex asked, her voice still raspy from sleep.

“No, she said I need to come home immediately.”

Lena sighed as Alex sat up.  
“Does she just get to shove you around like that? Changing her plans every five minutes?”

Lena simply shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I have to leave.”

Slowly, the brunette got up from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Alex fell back down into bed. She’d been excited to spend the next few days with Lena and maybe get the chance to kiss her again. Even the thought of doing it send a prickly feeling down Alex’s neck and she had to smile. 

But this had to wait. 

Now the important thing was to find out why Lillian wanted to have her daughter at home so suddenly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think!  
> I'll post an Agentcorp Christmas Oneshot tomorrow so look out for that ;)  
> If you want to make me a Christmas present, you can buy me a coffee here: ko-fi.com/queergirlelle


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!  
> If you haven't read my latest Agentcorp oneshot yet, go check it out!  
> Otherwise, enjoy this new chapter!

“You really have to leave?” Alex asked another time, as if the answer would’ve changed by now.

“I wish I could stay, but we’ll see each other soon. Just one week without me, you think you can handle that?”

Alex sighed, “I’ll try.”

They were walking across the huge hall, trying to find the check in. There was no need to hurry, because frankly, they didn’t want to say goodbye. They were so close to each other that their hands were almost touching, but neither of them was bold enough to take the others hand.  
They arrived at the check in and Lena slowly got into the line, giving Alex one last tight hug.

“Thanks again for driving me to the airport,” Lena said to break the silence.

“No problem. And I packed the hoodie in your bag. Now that you may need it.”

Lena chuckled and they smiled at each other. Then Alex turned around to walk away. She didn’t even make two steps before she hurried back into Lena’s arms, dropping her bag and pressing their lips together. Lena didn’t seem surprised at all as she smiled into the kiss. The butterflies in her stomach were freaking out again. Slowly she pulled back and caressed Alex’s cheek.  
The redhead didn’t want to let go of her, keeping her in a tight hug.

“I’ll see you next week.”

Alex stepped back with a slight blush on her cheeks. This time she actually went away, only looking back once.

They hadn’t talked about what this was. Sure, they’d kissed under a mistletoe, which could mean anything. But Lena was almost a hundred percent sure that this was more than just a friendly thing. Her cheeks blushed and she almost missed that she was the next in line. 

She was smiling as she boarded the plane. This time she was sure, her feelings were reciprocated. Lena was happier than ever. She couldn’t wait to see Alex again.

Not even the thought of seeing her mother could kill her mood.

 

It was weird, suddenly being alone at night. Alex starred at the ceiling in the dark. She missed the soft sound of Lena breathing next to her. And she missed Lena’s warm body pressed up against her. It had been so long since she last had a room all to herself and she was feeling lonely all of a sudden.  
Alex turned around again, angrily forcing herself to finally fall asleep.

 

“I was excited to spend New Years with her,” Alex said. Not admitting that she’d wanted to kiss Lena at midnight for good luck.

“You’ll see her again in a few days,” Eliza said and placed a plate in front of Alex. 

The redhead was surprised to see her mother’s homemade lasagne. She eyed her mom suspiciously. She usually only got this when she was sad or on special occasions. Eliza smiled at her. Alex sighed. She really had a great mom. It even seemed as if she had gotten nicer ever since Alex had come out to her.

 

Over the next few days, Lena was the only thing on Alex’s mind. They didn’t have much contact, because Lena always seemed busy with events or important business dinners, but they texted every now and then.

On New Year’s Eve she tried calling Lena, but her friend didn’t pick up. She tried it again and again until she finally gave up. She sat alone in a corner of the party she Kara and Eliza were at, nursing her drink.  
Everyone was cheering loudly as the clock struck midnight. A couple happily kissed, and Alex didn’t think she could get any sadder or feel more alone.

“What if something happened to her, Kara?” she sobbed into her sister’s shoulder later that night.

“I can fly over there and look if I can find her.”

Alex shook her head, “That’s too dangerous and you know it.”

“Okay, how about we’re driving back to college a day earlier and then we can pick up Lena on the way or look where she is.”

After that night, Alex was determined. She stopped crying and mopping around and couldn’t wait for the day they’d finally leave.

Their plan didn’t work out the way they thought. When they arrived at the Luthor manor, no one could tell her what was going on. 

“Miss Lena is already on her way back to College,” the butler had said, and Alex wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.

They still made their way back to college and the redhead was hoping that Lena would be there at least.  
Of course, she wasn’t. When Alex unlocked the door and found that her friend wasn’t there and that her clothes and everything was still gone, she had to try hard not to cry. Alex had always hated crying, but right in that moment she was desperate and scared that something might have happened to Lena.  
She cried herself into sleep that night, not knowing how to stop.

 

The next morning Alex waited around the room for a few hours, cleaning a bit and mostly staring at the wall. There was still a slight chance that Lena would come back, because it was Sunday and there was no way she’d miss all of her classes tomorrow.  
When it was past noon and no one had shown up, Alex decided that there was no sense in sitting around and doing nothing. She grabbed her jacket and went out to find Lena.

 

Alex walked up to the door and quickly knocked on it. Finding out in which dorm Sam lived would’ve been easier if she had her number, but they weren’t that close and most of the time Alex was staring at her angrily.

“Alex what are you doing here?” Sam’s forehead crinkled in confusion as she opened the door.

“Have you seen Lena? She doesn’t answer my texts or calls and I’ve looked everywhere for her, but I can’t find her. I’m really worried.”

“I have no idea. Last time we talked was a few days after Christmas.”

“Did she tell you where she was going or did she maybe act strange?”

Sam thought for a second. “Now that I think about it, she acted a little weird. Said she didn’t have much time, because she had a doctor’s appointment, even though she didn’t seem sick.”

Realisation hit Alex like a baseball bat punched into her gut.

“I think I know where she is! Thank you so much!”

Alex shouted the last part over her shoulder. She was already running outside, when she heard Sam call her name.

“Alex? Please tell me when you find her? If she’s okay?”

Alex promised to do so, jumped in her car and backed out of the driveway.

 

Her phone was ringing again. It was Kara, trying to reach her for the millionth time today. Alex decided to finally answer while she waited in line at the gas station.

“What’s up, Kara?”

“Where did you go? I said I wanted to help you find Lena!”

“I know, but-“

“No but! You’re coming back right now and let me help!”

Alex sighed. She wasn’t far away from campus, so it wouldn’t make a difference to drive back to get Kara. And she could need someone to keep her awake, when she was supposed to drive all night.

“Okay, I’ll come get you. Bring some food.”

“As if I would ever go anywhere without food,” Kara laughed before ending the call.

 

They arrived in town early in the morning and Kara wouldn’t let Alex go until she’d at least slept for two hours. After lots of discussion, Alex finally lay down in the backseat. But only because nobody in the Luthor household would be awake yet anyway.

After sleeping for almost three hours and eating some croissants Kara had bought in a bakery nearby, they drove the last few miles towards the Luthor manor. They’d been going over the plan all morning and Alex was sure it wouldn’t work, but she was determined to try.

As she walked the steps up to the large door, she hoped the right person would open it. Alex felt a little relieved when she was met with the friendly face of an older woman.

“Good Morning, Ma’am. I’m Alex, a friend of Lena’s. Is she home?”

The woman’s eyes lit up. “Oh, you’re Alex! Lena talked about you a lot! What are you doing here?”

From the nice smile to the warm voice Alex would guess that this was Martha, the cook. Lena had told her about Martha once or twice. A friendly old lady, who always made sure Lena ate something when Lillian sent her to bed without food.

“I’m looking for Lena. I think she’s in trouble.”

Martha’s eyes darkened and she quickly looked around to check that no one was listening in.

“I’m afraid her mother would do… terrible things to her.”

Alex hadn’t even realised that she’d been crying until she wiped the tears from her cheek.

The woman looked around once more, “Doctor Peter Harwick, I don’t have the address, but it’s somewhere in town,” she whispered. “But you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Thank you so much!” Alex was already running back to the car, telling Kara to drive, while she searched through the internet to find the address.

 

 

She couldn’t cry anymore. There weren’t any tears left in her body. Lena exhaled softly as she tried to look interested in what the doctor was telling her. As if this was anything new. She was confused and they needed to show her the right way.

Lillian was pacing back and forth behind the doctor. She’d wanted to supervise every meeting so far, to check if the doctor was making things right or whatever. Lena didn’t care. She wouldn’t get out of this. There was no ‘improvement’ to make for her. She’d tried to lie at them at first, but that only made her mother angrier. Lillian wasn’t buying it and now Lena had to pay for it. 

This had been the same talk for the past few days. If Lena wasn’t so scared that they would suddenly try out more drastic methods, then she’d be annoyed.

The doctor was talking something about the negative influences of College when suddenly the door flew open. Lena flinched and turned her head around. For a second, she thought she was dreaming when she saw the familiar red hair and that glorious smile.

“Hi,” Alex said breathlessly. Her cheeks flushed. 

The secretary stormed into the room after her. “You can’t go inside! This is a private session!” she yelled, but was ignored.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I forgot to give Lena something important.” 

She took the few steps over to the couch and leaned down. She waited a second for Lena’s silent nod, before Alex finally locked lips with her. Behind them Lillian yelled and the doctor dropped his notepad.  
Unwillingly, Alex had to smile into the kiss and cupped Lena’s cheeks before she pulled away.

“Come on,” Alex whispered, quickly taking Lena’s hand and pulling her outside. She pushed the secretary out of the way, leaving a stunned doctor and a still shocked Lillian.

When Kara saw them coming, she started the car. Alex opened the backdoor, hoped inside and pulled Lena with her.

“Go Kara!” she yelled the second Lillian Luthor stormed out of the building. Kara cheered as she smashed her foot onto the gas pedal. (She’d been absolutely thrilled about driving the getaway car).

Alex had no time to breathe, because suddenly she was tackled by Lena. The brunette hugged her as tight as she could, and she cried and she kissed Alex again. It was messy and wet, but neither of them cared.

“You came to save me,” Lena said in a small voice, after she’d eventually pulled back.

“Of course, I’ll always come to save you,” Alex answered. She wiped some last tears from Lena’s face and pressed a kiss on top of her head.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped or anything, but I couldn’t just leave you there.”

“No! No, I’m so glad you did.”

“You guys are so cute!” Kara squealed and Alex couldn’t help and laughed out loud. She pulled Lena as close as she could and held her tight. The brunette smiled and placed her head onto Alex’s chest, listening to the strong heartbeat.  
And finally, she felt save again.

 

After a quick stop back at the Luthor manor, where Lena had to pick up her laptop and some other important stuff (like giving Martha a big hug), they were on the road back to College. Thankfully, there was no sign of Lillian.  
The stress and all the problems of the last week were suddenly falling away and for the first time, Lena felt like she could breathe again.

It was already dark when they finally arrived. Lena had called Sam from the car, so her friend stormed out the second she entered the building. They hugged tightly and for the first time, Alex didn’t feel jealous about it. Lena deserved to have more friends to love her and care for her.  
Even though that hug lasted long enough by now.

 

 

“At least I still left a few things here,” Lena said as she tried to organise her closet. She had only been able to grab a few things, because she was too scared that Lillian would catch up with them.

“You can wear my clothes until we get you new ones.”

“I- uhm… I’m sorry, but mother threw away the onesie,” Lena admitted with her eyes cast down. “I gave it to Mary to wash it, but she ripped it out of my hands. I’m so sorry about it.”

Alex gulped down ger anger and put on a smile. The last thing Lena needed right now was Alex yelling about her mother.

“Don’t be sorry, none of this was your fault. We can get you a new one if you want.”

Lena gave her another teary smile and a nod.

“I guess missing a full day of important lectures is my smallest problem,” Lena sighed and closed the closet doors.

“Good thing you started working, cause now your mother is cancelling her payments for sure,” Alex chuckled, but then she looked up to meet Lena’s awkward grin. “Sorry, too early?”

“I just don’t know where this is going from here,” she admitted after a while. “Do I have to live in fear every day that she comes to get me? Or am I lucky and she just pretends I never existed?”

Alex walked over and sat down next to her. Then she slowly took Lena’s hands into her own.

“Whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?”

Lena gave her a small smile and a nod.

“And if you want to talk about what happened, I’ll listen to you.” 

Lena wasn’t sure if she could talk about what had happened these past few days. To her, it still felt like a bad dream, somehow. But Lena knew that she could trust Alex with her life and maybe it would give her some clarity to open up her heart.

“Someone saw us,” she quietly answered after a few minutes of silence. “Someone saw us kissing at the airport. Mother bribed the guy, so the pictures wouldn’t go viral. And then she said… she said that I was unbelievable. How could I do this to our family? How could I be so disgusting? I didn’t even try to justify myself this time. I mean what should I tell her? Yes, I’m in love with a woman, but it’s just a phase? She didn’t believe me years ago, why would she now?”

“You’re in love with me?”

Lena’s eyes widened in shock as she realised what she’d said.

“I mean… I…” she stuttered for a few seconds until she sighed. “How could I not? Look at you! Look what you did for me! No one ever cared about me the way you do. So yeah… of course I love you.”

She could see Alex staring at her with wide eyes. But she didn’t look scared or disgusted, rather surprised. Instead of an answer Alex leaned over and put a strand of hair behind Lena’s ear. Then she smiled and leaned in to kiss her. It was soft at first, but then Lena kissed her back with such force and emotion that Alex couldn’t help but smile.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Alex asked after they broke apart. “I’m getting a vibe that you might be interested in dating me.”

“Idiot,” Lena muttered and punched her with a pillow. “Yes. I’d love that.”

The redhead smiled and placed a kiss on top of Lena’s nose.

“And I’ll be always here if you want to talk.”

Lena smiled at her, “Maybe in a few days, when everything is hopefully getting back to normal.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Lena simply had to kiss Alex again. It felt as if she had to make up not only for this past few days, but for all the weeks where she’d wanted to kiss her so badly that it hurt. They only interrupted their making out to order some pizza.

In the end it felt as if they were almost back to normal. With the great addition of kissing.

“Good Night,” Alex said with a kiss on top of Lena’s head. Then she tucked her in and smiled proudly at her work.

“Could you maybe… uhm maybe sleep in my bed tonight?”

“You know that my bed is just across the room?” Alex chuckled, but then she saw Lena’s sad eyes. The brunette was about to say that it had been a dumb idea, so without further question Alex got into bed next to Lena and cuddled close to her.

“That better?”

Lena nodded, placed her head on Alex’s chest and quickly fell asleep. Alex on the other hand lay awake for a long time. Thinking about what had happened today.  
Even though she hadn’t slept much the past night, she wasn’t feeling tired. Her mind was wide awake and she was highly concentrated on protecting the beautiful human being next to her.

“I love you, too,” Alex whispered, and it wasn’t until now that she really understood what she’d been feeling all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think!  
> Have a Happy New Year!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> This is the second to last chapter of this story, so prepare for just a little more angst and then fluff all the way.

The next morning both of them had to catch up on the day they had been missing. While Alex simply asked some people to copy their notes, Lena apologized to all of the professors and spend way too much time on every single lecture she’d missed. It weren’t that many, considering she’d only been missing for a day, but in Alex’s opinion she was making way too much fuss about it.

“You actually want to write every single one of them a mail?” Alex smiled and sipped from her coffee. After they’d woken up next to each other that morning, both of them seemed to be in a great mood.

“I was trying to make a good impression. They need to know that I’m dedicated to their class.”

“Live is not a competition, you don’t have to constantly convince people of your skills or whatever. Not everybody needs to like you, that’s impossible.” 

Lena looked up from the screen and met Alex’s eyes. She sighed, “but I have to try at least.”

Alex gave her a soft smile. There was no sense in arguing here. As long as Lena was safe and happy, everything was fine.

The redhead still had some more time before her next lecture started, so she sipped her coffee and watched her roommate from the opposite side of the room. Lena typed the rest of the sentence and looked up.

“What?” she asked as she saw Alex staring at her.

“You’re beautiful.”

Lena chuckled and she hated that her cheeks were turning a crimson colour so easily. 

“I appreciate your compliments, but can we talk about us? About what this is, because this unknown thing is driving me crazy.” 

“I agree,” Alex laughed, “but I have to leave in a minute. How about tonight? I’ll get us some pizza and then we can talk?”

“Tonight sounds great.”

Lena smiled and turned back to her laptop, while Alex threw some things into her bag and left. She was a little nervous about talking to Alex tonight. She had been asked on a date by the redhead, but maybe that had only been a spur-of-the-moment decision, because of the adrenalin.

Lena tried to shake the insecurities and not think about it too much. Turning her attention back to her book, she softly hummed a melody and smiled, because it made her think about Alex.

 

Obviously, everybody wanted to know where they had been. Alex simply told her friends that she forgot her phone at home and had to drive back. Lena on the other hand was lucky that no one seemed to have notice her absence. 

Sam and Kara were the only other people who remotely knew where she really had been and of course, they wanted to know what was going on. So at lunch they all sat in a separate corner where they could have a little privacy, and Lena told them, not everything, but what they needed to know.  
As she said the words “I’m gay,” she squeezed Alex’s hand tightly and the redhead gave her an encouraging smile. Both Kara and Sam pulled her in for a big hug and promised to keep quiet about all of this. They took her coming out really well, which Alex had assured her they would, but Lena had still been nervous. And now she only felt happy. Happy and relieved as she hugged Alex tightly again. She made her way back to her room to catch up on her assignments, her thoughts still on her favourite redhead.

 

 

About an hour later, Lena’s phone rang and ripped her out of her thoughts. She looked at the caller ID and suddenly her heart beat quickened. Should she pick up or simply ignore it? Ignoring would probably be the best idea... Lena took a deep breath before answering the call.

“Hello, mother.”

“I didn’t think you’d answer the phone,” Lillian scoffed. The coldness of her voice biting into Lena’s ear.

“Then why did you call?”

“The gala this weekend. As you know, important investors and lots of press will be there. I arranged a date for you. You’ll look happy to be there and don’t leave his side. This is your last chance, take it or leave it. And after this we can get you fixed once and forever.”

Lena had no idea what to respond.

“You need me, Lena. Without me, you’re nothing. You have no one on your side. Come back home or you will regret it,” Lillian added after a second and then ended the call.

Lena took in a deep, shaky breath. She was seriously considering going back to her family. It was the only family she’d left and if they disowned her then she would have no home. But also, she didn’t want to get ‘fixed’. There was nothing to fix, she told herself over and over again.

Lena got up from her chair. She needed to find Alex and get some advice. There was no way she was going to survive this alone.

 

Lena finally found Alex in the cafeteria. She was sitting with her friends as always and she seemed to be in a cheerful mood. Lena walked towards her when she finally listened to what the guys were shouting.

“Hey Alex, I heard you’re boning a Luthor now,” the guy yelled across the hall. Lena startled and stopped. She was close enough that she could hear Alex’s response.

“Don’t believe everything you hear,” she scoffed but quickly turned around to Lucy. “Where did he hear that?” she hissed quietly. 

Lena could see the panicked look on Alex’s face. It felt like a punch right into the gut. She didn’t want her to feel this way. She’d never force her to come out or do anything she didn’t want. Lena quickly turned around. She needed to solve the problem with her mother on her own.

“I don’t know! I didn’t tell anybody. Does this mean you two are really dating now?” Lucy whisper-shouted to Alex.

“I think so.” Alex blushed a little. “We do kiss each other pretty often.”

Lucy squealed and then quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening. “Girl, you got game!” 

Kara scooted over and joined their whispered discussion. “Seriously, Lucy, you should see them. They’re the cutest couple of all times!”

Alex threw her head back in laughter. Lucy playfully shushed her. “No really, I’m so happy for you!”

“I’m happy for me, too.”

 

 

Lena was pacing around their room, considering her options. What if everything Alex had said and done had only been a game? It seemed her worst nightmares came true. Everybody would take off their masks, laughing at her. She really had been so stupid to believe that they were her real friends.  
Lena’s eyes started to tear up. She new she was talking herself into it and that only made it worse. Her hands started shaking.

Without Alex she had nothing. The only chance was going back to her mother, begging for forgiveness. She was still pacing around the room trying to dry her tears as she dialled the number.

“Hello mother,” she gulped heavily. “I’d like to come home.”

 

 

“Honey, I’m home!” Alex yelled with way too much joy and then laughed about herself. She was carrying two large pizza boxes and for a second Lena reconsidered every thought she’d had the past few hours.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked when she saw the look on Lena’s face.

“Actually, I’m not feeling that well,” she admitted in a small voice. “Maybe I just need some sleep.”

“Oh, okay.” Alex was visibly dejected and Lena knew it was her fault.

“Do you at least want some pizza? Or could I make you some tea?”

Lena shook her head ‘no’ and Alex didn’t react for a second. Then she mumbled something about ‘pizza’ and ‘Kara’ and left the room.

While Lena got into bed to read a little, her thoughts wouldn’t leave her alone. She had no idea if she was doing the right thing or not and no idea how to figure it out. A tiny voice at the back of her head told her that it was her own fault, for destroying everything, just as she had been happy.

Alex did indeed bring the pizza over to Kara and Lucy. All three of them sat on Kara’s bed, discussing what could be up with Lena. 

“Maybe she’s really just sick,” Kara shrugged. Alex wanted to agree, but she wasn’t sure that was the case. It had to be something else, but they didn’t come up with a reason that sounded logical. Alex didn’t have any appetite anymore. Kara and Lucy shared a worried look, and then gave their best to try and cheer Alex up.

When Alex got back to her dorm, Lena was already asleep. She quickly went to the bathroom and then got into her bed. But not before throwing a worried look over to her roommate.

 

During the next few days, Lena continued her weird behaviour. She never smiled, almost never ate anything and tried to avoid Alex as much as she could. When Alex asked her about it, she simply pushed it off by saying she wasn’t feeling well, using this excuse over and over again.

Alex on the other hand tried to concentrate on her classes and lectures as much as she could. Somehow, she needed to get the constant worry out of her head. She knew that she had she was in love with Lena, but it seemed like the wrong time to blurt that out. Her heart hurt at the thought that Lena didn’t know about her feelings. Maybe that was the reason of her weird behaviour?  
Alex planned on finding out soon, by simply telling Lena how she felt about her. She almost managed to do that, but then on Friday night, Lena didn’t come home.

At first Alex thought it was because she started working again and had a late shift, but when it was way past midnight Alex knew that something was wrong.

She finally decided to call Lena, even though things had been weird between them. It rang three times before Lena picked up the phone.

“Hello?” she asked in a small voice. She sounded so vulnerable that Alex had the urge to hug her instantly.

“Hey, it’s late and I’m worried about you. Where are you?”

“I’m on my way home.”

“Okay then, should I wait up for you or-“

“No, Alex. I’m on my way back home to my mother.”

“Oh Lena, why are you doing this?” she sighed.

“I appreciate everything you have done for me, but I don’t have anybody else left. I have to set things right with my mother.”

“You have me! You will always have me!” Alex shouted desperately. Everything was moving too fast and she had no idea what she was doing or how they got here.

“Do I really?”

“Yes! Why are you suddenly questioning that?”

It was silent for a second. Lena gulped heavily. She wasn’t going to accuse Alex of anything she’d done, because in that moment it sounded stupid, even in Lena’s head.

“Goodbye, Alex.”

And with that she ended the call. Alex tried calling her again, but she didn’t answer.  
Alex felt alone again. After all the excitement of the last few days. The anger, the happiness, the confusion, now she felt absolutely nothing. Her chest was empty. She slumped onto her bed and couldn’t even cry.

 

 

Alex was woken the next morning by the constant ringing of her phone. It was way too early to deal with that, the sun wasn’t even up and she hadn’t slept well last night. She reached for her phone and groggily answered the call without opening her eyes.

“Yes?”

“Alex?” she heard sniffing at the other end and instantly was wide awake.

“Lena? Are you okay?” she asked. The panic clearly audible in her voice.

She heard more sobbing and for a second she thought Lena wouldn’t answer at all.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“No, sweetie. You have nothing to be sorry for!”

“I’m so stupid,” she let out a quiet sob. “I treated you horribly when you were right the whole time. It was a bad idea coming back.”

“Where are you right now?”

“Hiding in a closet. Mother confiscated my phone, but I found it.”

Alex grumbled with rage, she was already putting her shoes on, ready to save Lena once again.

“She punched me, Alex.” Lena whispered, and Alex dropped her shoe.

“She did what?”

But the only answer she got was another quiet sob.

“I’ll come get you, okay? Give me a few hours.”

“We’ll be at Naros plaza tonight. They won’t let you in without an invitation.”

“Let me worry about that, okay? For now I only need you to stay safe.”

Alex was already on the way to her car, only when she got inside, she noticed that Lena had been quiet, only hearing her breathing.

“Can you hold on until I come?” she asked, hoping Lena was still on the line.

“Yes.” Again, she seemed to be thinking for a few seconds. “I love you, Alex.”

Lena ended the call before Alex could say it back.

 

Only when Alex started the car, she realised that she was still wearing her pyjamas. At least it was the pair without holes in it. She thought that she would definitely stick out in the crowd, but it didn’t matter, because Lena was way more important. 

She was still tired and stopped at a gas station to get some energy drinks. As expected, the shop assistant looked her up and down with a wary look on his face, but Alex tried to blend it out. She payed for everything and couldn’t help but think that she wouldn’t have enough gas money left to get Lena from her home another time.

The worst thing about all of this was, that when she was in the car, she was alone with her thoughts. She had to listen to herself and had no way of distracting herself good enough. Alex couldn’t believe that all she had done the past week was driving back and forth between College and the Luthor household. She couldn’t believe how she ended being caught up in this. But she knew she had a mission, and everything would be fine. Hopefully.

 

 

Alex was parking in some distance so she could keep an eye on the entrance. She had no idea how to get into the huge skyscraper. On the way here, she’d thought about all of the action movies she’d seen, but most of the times their techniques and stunts seemed rather unrealistic. For a second she even considered going with “Please pity me” but she didn’t think she could pull that off.

So right now she was sitting in her car, doing dome research on this event tonight. Apparently, this was a new office building the Luthors were opening up and they were inaugurating it with this gala. No one should be in there, apart from the staff who were setting everything up. Alex could see them unload a truck at the entrance. She continued reading. One website said that the gala would take place on the upper two floors, because that was were they wanted to set up a restaurant with a view over the city.

Alex smiled to herself. She had a plan.

She walked up to the door and closed her jacket so they would see less of her pyjamas. She knew the event only started in a few hours, but the Luthor’s were the hosts so maybe that would mean they would arrive way sooner. Alex had decided for one of her many not so great plans and put on a smile.

“Hi there,” she said to the man at the entrance, a charming smile playing on her lips. “I’m a little lost and have been driving around for hours, could I maybe use your restroom?”

The young man struggled with his words and Alex flashed him another smile.

“We uhm… we’re having an event here and… I shouldn’t let anyone through.”

“Please? I promise I’ll be quick,” she said and could see him break.

He opened the door for Alex to let her through and told her to hurry up. Alex grinned and quickly walked inside. She avoided the signs showing her where the toilets were located and hurried towards the staircase. She walked a few floors up and randomly decided for number six. As she’d hoped, the floor was empty. Quickly, she made her way over to the bathroom, because this still seemed like the best hiding place. She locked herself in a stall and chuckled to herself.  
That had been easier than expected. Alex took off her jacket and sat on the closed toilette seat. If she decided to call Lena again, there was the risk that her mother would find the phone, or maybe she already did. In the end Alex decided to simply sending a text.

_Your guardian angel is ready and waiting for you. Hang in there._

She pulled out the energy bar that she had left and happily chewed it, while waiting for the hours to pass by.

 

Waiting around in a bathroom with absolutely nothing to do was worse than Alex would’ve expected. She wandered around between the three stalls, tried fixing her hair multiple times, she even smelled the soap because she was bored out of her mind.

At least the guy from the front door didn’t seem to look for her. He seemed like the type who wouldn’t admit letting a stranger into this place because he was too afraid of the consequences. At least Alex told that to herself, so she would be less afraid

According to different websites, the gala started at six, so Alex made herself wait until 6:30 so that everybody would really be there. Then she threw her jacket on, so she didn’t have to carry it and made her way towards the stairs again. These were safer than using the elevators. She was excited and a little scared as she pushed the door open. She walked a few steps towards the music, rounded a corner and suddenly she found herself in a huge hall full of people.

Alex smiled to herself. That she even got inside still seemed unreal. She tried to blend in with the other people so that security wouldn’t notice her. There was still a chance that they had been alarmed about a stranger in the building.

The redhead looked around the room and startled as she finally saw her. At the end of the long hall was Lena, standing on stage, a fake smile plastered onto her face. Next to her, her mother was giving an interview and seemed to be happy with herself.  
As Alex walked closer to the stage, she pushed various bodies out of the way, which was commented on with angry curses. Only now she could see that Lena wasn’t standing alone up there. There was a tall boy, who couldn’t be more than a few years older than her, and he was smugly grinning at the cameras. His hand was resting on Lena’s back, way too low for Alex’s liking. Lena’s body language told her that she definitely didn’t like what was going on, as she tried to stand as far away from his as possible.

Alex pushed her way past the photographers and the press. Her eyes were fixated on Lena, she was so close to her. She could hear the people around her mumble and point at her. So maybe she was standing out in this room full of elegantly dressed people, while she was wearing her pyjamas and winter boots.  
Saving a live had seemed way more important than dressing properly, but what did they know about it?

Thanks to a waiter dropping a tray of champagne glasses, most of the bodyguards had their attention on him for a second.

Alex quickly ran past them and almost reached the top of the stairs before anybody noticed her. But when they did, the whole room turned their attention to her. She could see some cameras flashing. The reporter from channel 1 had stopped talking and was looking at her, but Alex only had eyes for one person in the room.

Her eyes met Lena’s and she couldn’t tell what they were telling her. It was shock mixed with relieve, but also so close to shedding tears. Alex didn’t even have time to appreciate how good Lena looked in her black, shiny dress and heels, because the brunette pushed the arm of her awful date off her back and took a few quick steps towards Alex.  
The redhead almost knocked her over with the force of her hug. Alex was completely out of breath but still pressed her lips onto Lena’s, giving her a long, passionate kiss. As long as she could go without needing to breathe.

She pulled back and looked deep into Lena’s teary eyes. From up close, the multiple layers of makeup over her bruised eye were clearly visible and Alex’s heart broke at the sight. 

They were silent for a second and it seemed as if the world around them had gone silent, too. It was probably because literally everyone around was staring at them.

“I love you, too,” Alex said and pulled Lena into a tight hug.

She would’ve loved to hold on to this moment forever, but she could see the angry security standing around them. Hundreds of shocked faces staring at them. Even though a few seemed to be smiling.

“Let’s get out of here,” Lena said and took Alex’s hand. Her face shifted to a somewhat dominant state and her security didn’t really know what to do. They threw confused looks at Lillian, who looked as if she was having a seizure. 

Alex hadn’t expected it would be so easy to just walk out there, but no one was getting in their way. 

They were just staring and wondering about – as the press would phrase it the following day – the Luthor heiress and the girl in the pyjamas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, Alex does a lot of heroing lately. That wasn't initially intended, but the chapter somehow wrote itself.  
> Hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the last chapter of this story!  
> This is just pure fluff all the way and these two definitely earned it.

The elevator doors closed and Alex let out the breath she’d been holding the whole time. She’d been holding Lena’s hand all the way through the crowd and only now the brunette let go.

“Please don’t cry,” Alex whispered, but Lena couldn’t stop it.

“I’m so… so stupid,” she sobbed into Alex’s shoulder.

“No, baby, you’re not. You want your mother to love you, nothing about that is stupid.”

This made Lena only sob harder.

“Everything is fine, okay? And when we walk out of that elevator in a second you need to look a little more put together, okay? Can you do that?”

Lena nodded and dried her tears. She cleared her throat multiple times and put on a smile. The elevator doors opened and Alex squeezed Lena’s hand once again. They passed a couple of people in the foyer, but nobody really cared.

When they walked through the door, the doorman’s eyes got wide. Alex was laughing to herself.

“Hi again, so sorry it took so long. I have some stomach problems.”

She gave him another charming smile and Lena threw her a curious look.

“I’ll tell you later,” she whispered with a cheeky smile on her face.

 

They made their way over to Alex’s car. The redhead was checking again and again if they were being followed, but she couldn’t see anybody.

“Why did you even run away in the first place? Alex asked once they were in the car. Lena let out a shaky breath. She wished she had a real explanation for this. 

“I know this is going to sound dumb, but I thought you didn’t really like me and I had no idea what I was doing and in that moment it sounded so unreal.”

“Unreal?” Alex asked softly.

“That someone like you would actually like me without an ulterior motive.”

Lena looked down to her hands. Her cheeks were burning, but at least now the truth was out. She knew she’d overreacted and that her mother had accomplished what she’d tried to do by getting her to freak out about this.

“Hey,” a soft voice ripped her out of her thoughts. Alex placed a warm hand on top of Lena’s hands to make them stop shaking. “I get it, that you can’t trust people easily, but next time please talk to me before you freak out, okay?”

Lena quickly nodded. Tears were stinging in her eyes again. Alex was looking at her with concern and so much feeling that it seemed unreal to Lena. She had no idea how she deserved someone like her.

“And I do really like you, Lena Luthor. Please never doubt that.”

Lena nodded again because she didn’t trust herself to speak. They sat in silence for a few seconds, just looking at each other in peace.

“Let’s get out of here, before someone finds us,” Alex finally said and let go of Lena’s hands to turn to the steering wheel.

 

They stopped in front of the Luthor household once again. Lena quickly jumped out of the car and disappeared between the bushes. A few seconds later she came back with a bag in her hands. She dumped it in the trunk and turned around one last time to wave at Martha. The woman had spotted her from the kitchen window and seemed almost sad as Lena turned to leave.

“When I got your message, I packed my bag and asked Martha to hide it outside,” Lena explained once she was back in the car.

“Is there anything you didn’t think of?” Alex chuckled.

“Well, I also packed two bottles of water and some food.”

Alex shot her a quick look and grinned. “That’s my genius.”

“Your genius,” Lena whispered as if she had to try how the words sounded. A small smile crept onto her face and after a few seconds she leaned over to Alex and placed a peck on her cheek. Once all her tears had dried, Lena’s mood improved tremendously. Alex was happy to see her like this. Carefree and relaxed. She hoped it would hold on forever.

 

 

They drove for a while through the dark night. Due to the heavy rain, Alex couldn’t see much. So they decided to take a break. Alex stopped the car near the road. She tried to turn the backseats down, so they would have more space in the back of the car, but for that she needed to exit the car first. When she was done, she was soaking wet and Lena couldn’t stop laughing.

They stumbled into the backseat, still giggling. In the meantime, Lena had already changed out of her tight dress into something more comfortable. She offered Alex a dry shirt from her bag, which the redhead thankfully accepted. Once she had it on, Alex let herself fall down and Lena quickly climbed on top of her. The brunette had a wide grin on her face, the one that was only reserved for Alex.  
Slowly, she leaned down and kissed her again. There was no rush this time, just pure emotion and longing. And finally, between all the rage and uncertainty, kissing Alex felt like knowing where she belonged. It felt like coming home after a long day at work. It simply felt right.

A little out of breath Lena rolled down from Alex and laid beside her.

“I think about getting my tongue pierced,” Lena suddenly said.

Alex took a second to imagine it before she blushed. “Yep, that would definitely be hot.”

“I’ve always wanted to do that and I feel like now I finally can.”

“You can do whatever you want.” Alex smiled and linked their hands. “And I can even hold your hand when you’re scared.”

Lena scoffed and rolled her eyes. There was no way she’d tell Alex that she would actually really like to hold hands.

“It’s almost comfortable in here,” Alex thought out loud.

“Wait a second.” Lena reached behind herself and rummaged through her back once more. She made a sound of victory as she pulled out a fuzzy blanket.

“Why the hell did you bring a blanket?”

“It’s my favourite okay?” Lena said defensively. “And I wanted to take it with me, because this time I’m not coming back.”  
Lena threw the blanket over both of them and locked her fingers with Alex’s hands again. They smiled at each other and enjoyed the sound of the rain as they were silently listening to it.

 

Lena chuckled at the sudden loud growling of Alex’s stomach.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, actually. I didn’t really have anything to eat all day. The agony I went through just for you,” Alex said theatrically and then laughed. Her laugh got stuck in her throat when she saw Lena’s face. The smile had vanished and now the brunette’s eyes were cast down.

“I’m just joking, really! I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Lena nodded and collected her words for a second.

“I think I need to get used to that.”

A bright smile appeared on Alex’s face and she squeezed Lena’s leg tightly.

“Great, so what did you bring?”

Lena turned to her bag. The sad smile had disappeared and now she was excited. She pulled out a big plastic container and some silverware. Alex got big eyes as she opened the container to see spaghetti and tomato sauce. She cheered like a little kid as she grabbed one of the forks. It took her a second before she eyed it weirdly.

“Did you steel silverware from your house?”

“Plastic forks are bad for the environment.”  
Lena gave her a smug grin and Alex stared at her in disbelief.  
“I’m definitely not bringing it back. I’s mine now.”

“I don’t know what happened, but I love this new attitude.” Alex laughed, but suddenly a crinkle appeared on Lena’s forehead.

“What’s wrong?”

“But I haven’t changed that much, have I?”

“Uhm no, you’re just… more confident. Why?” she asked after a second.

Lena had an inner debate going on. Alex could see the thoughts running through her brain.

“I just thought that maybe you don’t like me anymore if I change too much.”

Alex put her fork down and crawled over to Lena.

“You’re still yourself. You’re still smart and brave and beautiful. And obviously you’re still blushing because you don’t know how to accept compliments.”

“So… you still like me like that?”

“Yes, Lena Luthor, I still love you. So fucking much.”

And then Lena almost tackled her with the force of her hug and the quick kiss that she placed onto her lips.

“Do you maybe want to be my girlfriend?” Lena asked breathlessly. “I know that we wanted to go on a date first, but we’re kind of doing this thing in the wrong order so I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind and-“

“Yes,” Alex said with a smile, interrupting Lena’s immense flow of words.

Lena blushed and locked lips with Alex again, before they slowly laid back down.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You mean with the dress and all?”

“That too, but also right now.”

“You’re such a charmer,” Lena said and rolled her eyes.

“But it’s true!”

 

Somehow the hours were passing by. The raindrops still sounded heavy on the roof of the car. Both girls were cuddled together under the blanket again. They had talked for a long while before falling into comfortable silence. Lena softly traced Alex’s face with her fingers as if she wanted to memorize every single inch of it. Alex had her eyes closed and silently enjoyed the intimacy. Lena’s fingers stopped at the redhead’s lips. She slowly leaned in to capture Alex’s lips with her own, causing Alex to smile.

“That was really smooth,” Alex mumbled against Lena’s lips and the brunette chuckled.  
She deepened the kiss and got her hands tangled in Alex’s hair. She ran her fingers through the soft curls, smiling at the warm feeling in her chest. Alex hands travelled up and down Lena’s back, stopping right at the hem of her shirt. Lena got bold and swung her leg across Alex’s lap to be even closer to her.  
Alex’s hand wandered further up Lena’s back until she reached her bra. As Alex tried to unclasp it, Lena stiffened.

“Wait a second,” Lena whispered against Alex’s lips and the redhead pulled back instantly.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that we’re not doing this in your car.” Alex let out a loud laughter. “No, seriously! I’m not having my first time in a car!”

“You mean first time in like… ever?” Alex asked in a surprised voice.

Lena’s cheeks blushed and muttered something under her breath.

“That’s nothing bad, I’m just surprised.”

“That no one wants to come near me? Because that is a known fact.”

Alex pressed a quick kiss on top of Lena’s nose.

“I want to. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve never done this before or if you’ve slept with a million people, I don’t care! Because I love you.”

“You have a way with words, has anyone ever told you that?”

Alex shot her a cheeky grin and Lena had to smile. She climbed off Alex’s lap so they could cool down for a second.

Lena got her bag and pulled out two bottles of water. Alex accepted one and quickly took a few gulps. Then her eyes landed on the bag again.

“What else do you have in your magic bag, Mary Poppins?”

Alex grinned and watched as Lena unpacked it looking for useful things.

“Oh you have your diary with you.”

“I forgot that I even packed it,” Lena said absentmindedly. She flipped it open and looked through the last pages.

“Dear diary, I have a girlfriend now,” Alex said in a high-pitched voice. “She is smoking hot and drives halfway across the country to save me all the time.”

“Shut up!” Lena tried to contain her laughter, but failed horribly. “Also, I don’t sound like that.”

“But you definitely wrote something like this, am I right?”

Lena blushed as she denied it and Alex knew that she was right.

“But I can read it to you if you want,” she offered in a small voice.

“You’d do that?

“Yeah, I trust you.”

Alex gave her a soft smile. “I’d love to hear it, but only if you really want to. No pressure or anything.”

Lena nodded and flipped through the pages once more, trying to find the right place to start.

_“Today was entirely confusing-“_ Alex snorted after the first few words before Lena shushed her.  
_“Alex told me that she likes girls. Or rather she cried it out while being drunk. It is relieving to know that I’m not the only one. Somehow, that made me like her a little, even though we’ll probably never be friends. I bet her parents are more understanding than mine and her friends also won’t mind. She seems to be such a lucky person.”_

She flipped a page without looking up at Alex. Otherwise she would’ve seen the surprised look coming from her.

_“I take it back. It doesn’t make me like her more. I’m jealous. How is it so easy for Alex to get accepted for who she is? I don’t know if I hate her or like her, but if she eats my yoghurt again, we’re going to have a serious problem_

Lena looked at Alex for a second. The redhead gave her a warm but sad smile, so Lena turned back to the diary and flipped through some more pages.  
“See you aren’t in here that often,” she said with a chuckle before she found Alex’s name again. 

_“Alex is a mystery to me. I can’t figure her out. On some days she seems so vulnerable but then she carries herself with pride. It seems as if she wants to hate me but forgets about it every now and then. I whish I’d know what’s going on inside her head.”_

Lena looked back at Alex. This time she took a deep breath to collect her thoughts.

_“I love her. Everything is falling apart but this is as clear as day. I love her. When she smiles at me, I suddenly can’t breathe and I miss her every time she isn’t with me. The way she acts around her sister, when this loving, warm person comes to the surface, I just find myself falling deeper and deeper and I can’t help myself. I love her and I have no idea what I’m going to do now because there is not a single chance that she feels the same way about me.”_

Lena put the book down. During the reading Alex had taken her hand. The redhead looked at her with watery eyes. 

“When did you write that last part,” she asked with the softest smile Lena had ever seen. 

“After the Halloween party,” Lena admitted. Alex leaned in to give her a soft kiss.  
“Yeah, that was the point where I was absolutely sure about my feelings.”

“It’s cute that you think I didn’t already like you back then,” Alex chuckled.

“You did?”

“I think I even tried to kiss you that night.”

Alex laughed at the confused face Lena was making. Suddenly her eyes widened in shock.

“Oh my gosh you’re right! How could I forget about that?”

Alex just answered with a loud laughter while Lena kept shaking her head. Once she’d overcome the initial shock she leaned back and closed the diary.

“Everything after that is basically just me swooning over you, so I’m not going to read that,” she chuckled.

“But that is the best part of it!”

 

 

The rain had stopped, some of the last drops made their way down from the trees. Alex leaned against her car and watched the sun starting to come up. They still had a long trip ahead of them and a lot of explaining to do once they were back, but these were problems for another time.

Alex watched Lena come back from behind the bushes. She shot a big smile at Alex, so she didn’t see the huge puddle she stepped in. Her face fell as she slipped and tried to catch herself, landing deep in the mud. Alex couldn’t help but laugh as she hurried towards Lena to help her up. The brunette was struggling because she was laughing and trying to get up at the same time.

“Wait, I’ll pull you up,” she giggled and reached for Lena’s (also muddy) hands.

“How do you always get yourself into situations where you need my help?”

“I have no idea,” Lena laughed and wiped her hands on her jeans. “But good to know that at least I have one talent.”

“Yeah I can see that. You’re a natural. A natural disaster.”

Lena playfully punched her girlfriend into the shoulder.

“So what? You’re a gay disaster!”

“I think we both are,” Alex grinned and pulled her muddy girlfriend closer to her. “That’s one of the reasons we’re such a great match.”

Lena smiled as she leaned in to softly place a kiss on Alex’s lips. 

She couldn’t even disagree.

 

 

\---

 

 

Kara made her way up to the microphone. Her smile was shining brighter than ever.

“Hi everybody, as many of you know, I tend to talk a lot, like a lot lot. And I often get lost in what I wanted to say and then I have no idea what I’m talking about and… I think I’m doing it again.” 

She tilted her head like a puppy and looked down to see a few people giving her nods. 

“Okay, well that is why I’m not holding a big speech today. Alex, Lena, you guys know how fricking much I love you and I’ll probably tell you over and over again for the rest of your lives, but for now I’ll just save it because I have a little surprise.”

Lena turned her head towards her wife, but Alex only shrugged.

“I think most of you might have already seen this, but I need to show it again, because it’s the best thing ever,” Kara said and stepped aside so everybody could see the video that was playing.

A blonde reporter came up and Alex instantly knew what was going on.

“Not again,” she whined under her breath, while Lena just giggled. In the past few years she’d seen this video way too often for her liking.

_“First place in our Top 10 of most romantic gestures of the year definitely goes to Lena Luthor and her mysterious girlfriend. In January the Luthor’s hosted a big gala for the opening of a new building. Lillian Luthor was giving an interview on stage with her daughter Lena, when an unknown girl in pyjamas stepped onto the stage and declared her love for the youngest Luthor. They shared a passionate kiss before disappearing from the party.”_

They showed the clip of Alex running into Lena’s arms to kiss her and some the people around the room ‘awwed’. 

_“Many people were surprised or even amused, while Lillian Luthor refused to say one more word to the press, but later she was seen throwing a tantrum and shouting curses at the security staff. We say congrats to Lena and welcome to the 21st century, Lillian.”_

The video ended and the people around them laughed and clapped.

“You have to admit, it is kind of cute. Even after all this time,” Lena smiled as she played with the newly placed ring on Alex’s finger. 

Alex leaned over to her wife and softly nuzzled her head into her neck.

“I love you, did you know that?”

“I assumed it. Today being our wedding day and all that.”

“Good,” Alex said with a wide smile. “Just wanted to remind you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after...  
> I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you think!
> 
> Carnival season just started so I have performances every weekend and then my exams are coming up soon... I don't know if I'll have much time to write, but there will probably be some oneshots.  
> Lets be honest, I'll probably start another multi-chapter story soon cause I can't contain myself.  
> 


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